Just Trying To Help
by CastielandMe
Summary: Dean Winchester has to juggle two jobs, looking after his fifteen year old brother Sam and his drug addict father John, and with no money, and what they do earn is blown on drugs by John. So what can Sam do to help? Warnings for slash and prostitution R&R
1. Chapter 1

** General summery: When Dean is left working two jobs, looking after a fifteen-year-old Sam and trying to stop his drugged-up mess of a father from completely breaking down, what does Sam do to try and help matters?**

**Sam PoV **

I finished my push-ups as Dean unlocked the front door. Wiping the sweat from my chest with an old towel, I pulled on a tee, walking out into the kitchen, where Dean was putting a loaf of bread in the cupboard.  
>'How was school?' He asked, glancing at me. The permanent lines in his forehead seemed to smooth a little every time he looked at me, and I smiled weakly.<br>'It was okay. I promised Alex I'd go over and hang our tonight, if that's fine with you?' My excuse was fully plausible- I did have a friend named Alex, and Dean always stayed in until I was back in case Dad was unconscious and couldn't open the door.  
>'That's fine by me, I've finished for the night. Have fun, and be back before eleven.'<br>'Will do. Just gonna jump in the shower.'  
>'Okay.'<p>

When I got out, I pulled on a beanie hat, jacket, checked button-down shirt and skinny jeans that had several tears in the right leg- Dean's old ones. My converse were getting a little worse for wear, but my work tonight would probably pay for replacements.  
>'See you later!' I called.<p>

I hung around on street corners for a while, my button-down undone, jeans worn low and hair mussed and hanging out of the beanie.  
>About ten minutes after I began to hang around on the ironically named 'Winchester Road' - which made me feel a little sick, to be truly honest, but it was the only place the police didn't come around.<br>When a yellow porche coasted to a halt in front of me, I nodded at the twenty-something, skinny man with mussed black hair and shockingly blue eyes, who was sat in the driver seat, as he wound down the window.  
>'How much?' He asked in a low, gruff voice.<br>'Twenty. Each time, each person.' I answered, approaching the car. 'Cash, before hand.'  
>He raised an eyebrow. 'Cheap. How old?'<br>'Seventeen.'  
>'Get in.'<p>

I could never remembered what the houses looked like. I tried to blot it out every time.  
>'I'll be there in a minute. Third door on the left.' I nodded, heading up the stairs, lip curling at the tacky pink cotton sheets. Stripping down slowly, hardly sparing a glance for the bruises on my hips, ribs and ass from my rougher clients.<br>Yep, you've guessed it. And if you haven't, then you're a little mentally deprived.  
>I'm a prostitute.<br>I didn't like it, didn't like the dirty, sad men that took me home or the whorish women who wanted it in their car, using me for their own gain, then throwing me, hard-on and all, out into the street, sometimes into the rain, and sometimes miles from home and hopelessly lost. But I persevered, because if I didn't, Dean would be shouldering it all on his own.  
>See, he thought Alex's mom paid me twenty an hour to tutor her son.<br>If only.  
>I stood silently with my head bowed as I waited for the man to return. Sometimes they took their time, as if to prolong my suffering, or sometimes they were bringing their friends, which was worse.<br>The door opened and I heard it shut again without looking up. There was a hand on my chin, pulling it up. I looked into his piercingly blue, calm, apologetic eyes reluctantly.  
>'I'll be gentle. Promise.' He whispered. He looked almost guilty as he pinned me on the bed, pulling himself out of his dress pants and thrusting in as gently as he'd said, but it didn't ease the sickened feeling in my stomach as he came, and the disgusted feeling as my own body reacted to the soft caresses. The hot, dirty kisses that coated my chest made me feel dirty, as did the way he stroked me to completion.<br>When he pulled away, handing me my clothes and telling me to dress, he couldn't meet my eyes.  
>I preferred it like this- no communication, and no visible evidence besides my own semen crusting in his sheets.<br>'I'm sorry.' He murmured, looking at me. 'My brother just died, I...'  
>'It's fine. If it wasn't you, it'd just be somebody else. Usually someone worse.' I replied quietly. 'Twenty.'<br>He held his hand out, two crisp hundreds in his palm. I shook my head. 'I can't accep-'  
>'You're about fifteen.' He interrupted gently. 'Too young to be doing this without a good reason. Take the money. And if I see you again... Well, I'll pay you two hundred per round.'<br>I swallowed, grateful tears burning my eyes. 'Thanks, mister.'  
>'Is there anywhere I can drive you?'<br>'I'll walk, thank you. Where are we?'  
>'West side of town.'<br>'I live quite nearby.' I lied- I lived on the east side, and my spot on Winchester Road was in the centre. It would take me about two hours to walk home.  
>'If you're sure...' He shrugged, holding open his bedroom door. 'I'll see you around.'<br>'Goodbye, Mister. And thanks again.'

The two hour walk didn't bother me at all- I had two hundred dollars in my pocket, and that was worth a two week long walk.  
>When I stumbled through the door at quarter to twelve, Dean was tapping his foot and standing by the door like a neglected wife.<br>'You're late.' He scolded.  
>'He had extra work.' I shrugged. 'So I got extra money.' I pulled the hundred-dollar notes out of my pocket, handing them to Dean.<br>His eyes widened minutely, and he hugged me tight. 'Well done, Sam.'  
>It was always worth the nasty men and demented women, just to hear that. <p>


	2. Chapter 2

** Please review! :) hope you like, prize of a virtual Cas for anyone who figures out what the plan will be if Dean's in the house! :) **

I stood in the shower, letting the lukewarm water wash away the dirty feeling, cleaning out my ass thoroughly, cringing at the thought of having to do this again in a few days, and the feeling of my torn, stretched skin.  
>The dirty feeling never truly went- I could still feel their hands on me, if only in my head.<p>

When I got up in the morning, I found Dean in the kitchen, frying bacon. I raised an eyebrow at the meal, and he smiled.  
>'All thanks to you, Sammy. Don't know what you did, but it worked. There was enough for next month's rent and the bacon. Make sure you keep it hidden from John, though,' He added, instantly serious. 'Or you know he'll blow it on pot or some such crap.'<br>I nodded, thoughtfully chewing a bit of fat. If I could find that guy from last night again, and make it a weekly occurrence, he'd be the only one I'd have to see. And Dean wouldn't have to work so hard. And we could pay for Dad to go to rehab...  
>'We can drive to school today, if you like. Work gave me enough to fill the Impala yesterday.' I smiled, nodding gratefully. It was a hour's walk to school, and even then we arrived early, because Dean had to get to work at the scrapyard by nine, a ten-minute's walk away.<br>'Eat up then. I'll go make sure John's still breathing.' I frowned a little, thinking about how he shouldn't talk about our Dad like that, but he waved off my objections before I could voice them.  
>I heard him talking loudly in Dad's room, and Dad's own mumbled replies.<br>'He'll be up soon.' Dean said, walking into the kitchen again. 'If he wants to get the cold coffee out of his hair.'  
>'You shouldn't-'<br>'I know, I know. He deserves it though.'  
>I didn't reply, just chewed silently then left to my room to get ready for school.<p>

I had a few good friends at school, and Alex was one, along with Duncan. Duncan and I had become friends last year, after he walked in on me and his mom. He took the whole thing understandably badly- but eventually he realized that it was his moms fault, not mine. So he befriended me and moved in with his Dad.  
>When I got to school at the appropriate time of five to nine, rather than twenty to, because we were driving, Alex and Duncan were stood at the gates waiting for me. They nodded, Alex, as usual, sighing in desire at my brother's car.<br>'You drove.' Duncan stated. He frowned a little at me. They both knew about my job, understood the reasons why, but it didn't make them like it. 'Good pay?'  
>'Ten times better.' I replied quietly, glancing around at the throng of people entering school.<br>I recalled the times when I remembered the students here by name, not by what kind of screw their parents had wanted.  
>I'd even done a few of the seventeen-year-old boys here, 'for a good blow', they said, not because they were gay.<br>I'd only been picked up by one of the girls in our school- a sixteen-year-old, Anna. Long red hair, the most desired chick in the school... And a closet lesbian. So why she wanted me to fuck her was beyond my understanding.  
>Speak of the Devil... Anna strutted past me in her short skirt and knee length boots, leaving Alex and Duncan gawping after her. They didn't know about my work with students- understanding as they were, I don't think it would work. 'Specially since I screwed their crush.<br>The day passed in a flurry of hard work. I always did my best at school, thinking that it was, if only very poor, at least _a_ way to repay Dean for everything he'd done for me.  
>When he picked me up at four, I jumped into the car, smirking as he wound down the windows, saying something about showering more often.<br>'I've been doing a solid hour of intense workout. Try it, see how much you smell.'  
>Dean chuckled, ruffling my hair. 'You could make a fine hunter one day. Ambitious, healthy, good reflexes...' He swung a hand at me, and I caught it, yawning to show how easy it was. 'But you're not gonna have to do that. You don't deserve that life.' He sighed, and I sighed too, thinking how much easier it would be to be a hunter than a prostitute.<br>'I'm gonna be out all night. Bobby needs a hand.' He told me, frowning. 'Be back at five am earliest, so don't wait up. If Alex needs you again, head over, leave the key in that little hole in the wall so you don't lose it.' I nodded, silently cheering and booing at the same time. Cheering, because this meant I could get maybe a hundred dollars in one night. Booing because I never passed up the opportunity to get the money we needed, so innumerable amounts of men would be molesting me tonight.  
>'Look after yourself.' I told him, and he smiled.<br>'Always do.'

I was at my spot my quarter to ten, a safe amount of hours since Dean had left. Wearing the leather pants he didn't know existed for nights such as this, when he wouldn't be there when I arrived or left, so he wouldn't see how I was dressed- and wonder why the fuck I was wearing leather pants.  
>In truth, these pants seemed to get me picked up a hell of a lot faster.<br>When a familiar yellow porche coasted to a stop in front of me, I stood up a little straighter, head cocked. But when the window came down, I realized it was a different guy. Same car, definitely. Different driver. Definitely.  
>'Samuel Winchester.' The driver said, tutting. My jaw dropped a little, and I frowned.<br>'Who are you?' I asked bluntly. I was suddenly aware that no-one was expecting me home tonight- no-one would be looking for me until tomorrow, because Dad was too stoned, and Dean was in Sioux Falls with Bobby.  
>'My name is Gabriel. I'm Castiel's brother, the guy who owns the porche, you saw him yesterday?'<br>'How do you know my name?'  
>'I'm Anna's father.'<br>In my head, I swore violently. But out loud I just frowned. 'Oh right? What do you waaa-How can I help you?'  
>'Cas- Castiel- wants to see you again.'<br>I raised an eyebrow, getting a little closer to the car. 'Castieel.' I murmured, trying out the name on my tongue.  
>'Cas-tiel.' He corrected. 'Get in.'<p>

He didn't look at me for the whole drive, didn't say a word at all, just drove with his jaw clenched and eyes forward.  
>'Do I offend you?' I asked quietly, feeling, strangely, actually a little hurt.<br>'I...' He sighed, shaking his head. 'Not you, per se. But... People like you.'  
>'Prostitutes.' I answered, lowing my head as a small wave of shame washed over me.<br>He nodded, glancing at me. 'I hate that I'm doing this. It's wrong, it's... You're just a child.'  
>'I've just turned fifteen.' I replied quietly.<br>He gasped a little. 'Fifteen? So young... You shouldn't... Why are you doing this to yourself?'  
>'My Dad's a drug addict. And my brother works all hours to try and keep a roof over our heads, and he's only twenty-three.' I answered sadly. 'So I do what I can.'<br>'But this...' He shook his head, sighing again. 'I feel bad for even knowing about this.'  
>'Don't.' I murmured, my voice surprisingly gentle. 'If it wasn't Castiel, it would someone else, probably someone worse, and someone who didn't pay me as well.'<br>'How...' He cleared his throat as we pulled up on the driveway. 'How much did he give you?'  
>'Two hundred. I only ask for twenty.' I answered, still not over the shock of the $180 tip.<br>'The dude's got some cash.' Gabriel replied, opening my door for me. 'A lot of it. But he lost his brother... I think he needs a lay. But twice, with a kid... That's bad. And wrong.' Gabriel shook his head again, clearly conflicted and unnerved at having had to bring me here for such a purpose. 'But if you make him better, I swear to Dad that I'll give you two _thousand_ dollars.'  
>In the shock of the prospect of two thousand dollars, I didn't really listen to the rest of the sentence, and it wasn't till after he drove away that I processed the rest of his words.<br>He didn't say 'swear to God'.  
>He said 'I swear to Dad'.<p>

The front door was unlocked, so I walked in, shoe-clad feet padding softly on the carpeted stairs before I pushed open his ajar door.  
>'Castiel...?' I frowned, stepping inside, seeing the guy lay fully clad on the bed, staring at the ceiling.<br>'Just... Stay with me? Please? I can't be alone tonight...' I went a little closer, spotted his tear-stained cheeks, and something about his broken expression tugged at my hardened heartstrings. 'So many of my brothers are being killed right now, and I can't help them...'  
>'It's okay, Castiel.' I soothed, feeling my heart melt a little for the guy I barely knew. 'I'm here, you're not alone...'<br>'Just lay with me... I'll pay you for your time, I just... I can't be alone tonight.'  
>I lay down beside Castiel as he encircled me in his arms. It felt... Unusual. Quite nice. It made me feel... Wanted, I guess.<br>'What time do you need to leave?' He murmured against the back of my neck.  
>'Two-thirty, latest. I have to be back before my brother gets in a five.' I stretched a little, then realized that I'd revealed that I didn't live within easy walking distance, as I'd said I did last night.<br>'I'll drive you.' He told me.  
>'Your brother took the car.'<br>'I have more.'  
>I nodded a little, lulled into relaxation by the feeling of Castiel's hot breath against the back of my neck.<br>'I'll give you four hundred for tonight.' He said, pulling me a little closer. 'This, this feeling of... Not being alone? It's worth more, but you wouldn't accept.'  
>'I'm not accepting four hundred anyway.'<br>Castiel sighed. 'Fine. Two hundred. Final offer.'  
>I chuckled dryly. 'You say that like it's bad.' He chuckled too, reaching over setting the alarm for three am.<br>'Sleep. You're safe here.' He murmured. For some reason I didn't quite understand, I trusted this man- a dangerous habit in this line of work, but I did nonetheless.  
>'Thank you.' I breathed. He shifted a little closer, and kissed my neck gently in reply as my eyes drifted closed.<p>

It was the best night's sleep I'd ever had. When the alarm went off and stirred us each from our separate dreams, I found I'd turned in my unconscious and my head was resting on his chest. Scrambling away a little, I apologized quietly. He pulled me into a gentle hug, putting his lips to my ear.  
>'There is nothing to forgive.' He murmured, helping my to my sleep-heavy feet.<br>We went downstairs, not having to dress, because we'd never _un_dressed in the first place. Gabriel was in the kitchen having a coffee as Castiel started to make both of us one, and he raised an eyebrow and the sight of me and my sleep-mussed hair and clothes.  
>'He's still here.' He noted dryly, glancing at Castiel.<br>'He stayed with me.' Castiel growled. 'And don't start because I don't want to hear it. Four of my brothers just died, I think I'm entitled to a little compassion.'  
>'They were my brothers too. And I'm not sleeping with young boys that are barely fifteen.'<br>Castiel glanced at me, then back to Gabriel. 'We'll talk about this later.'  
>He lead me from the house without a word, leaving the thoughts of his brothers and hopes of a wake-up coffee behind him.<p>

We drove in relative silence, apart from me directing him here and there. When we stopped outside the house, I sighed with relief at the absence of the Impala. I'd been panicking in case Dean had come back early and discovered my absence, either by the key still being in the hole outside or checking in on me when I wasn't there.  
>Castiel handed over two hundred dollars, which I took gratefully and without the effort of complaining. 'Thank you.' He murmured. 'If you hadn't been there...' Castiel shrugged, shaking his head. 'I don't know what I would've done.'<br>'It was no problem.' I answered. 'Better than getting fucked by a stranger.'  
>'We should do it again...' He said slowly. 'What days do you usually...?'<br>'Every day.' I replied. 'But with the rates you pay, I could go down to once a week.'  
>'A hundred.' He said quietly. 'For every night like this one. Although if your brother is around, and you have to be back earlier, I'm sure we could figure something out.'<br>I smiled. If this worked out, I could stop prostituting. 'Sure. What would you... Like me to wear?'  
>Castiel frowned. 'Whatever you like. I'm not your master.'<br>I nodded, feeling a little good that I wouldn't have to dress like a man-slut anymore. 'Okay.'  
>Castiel leaned over, one hand raised, and for one heart-stopping moment I thought he was going to hit me.<br>And then I couldn't decide if what he did was better or worse.  
>His hand rested on my cheek, and he kissed me gently.<p>

'Fuck.' He whispered as he drew away, looking anguished. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean...'  
>In that instant, I realized it was better. So much better.<br>'It's fine.' I murmured, and leant over to touch his lips softly to mine again in one electric contact. 'I'll see you tomorrow.'  
>'I'll pick you up at the end of the road. Nine thirty.' He whispered, licking his lips and kissing me again. 'And I think we'll need to talk about this.'<br>I nodded a little, then kissed him. 'Bye, Castiel.'  
>'See you tomorrow, Sam Winchester.'<p>

After letting myself in and re-hiding the leather pants under my bed, stripping down and crawling under the cold duvet, I realized how lonely it felt, and I felt a twang of something almost guilt-like as I found I had liked sharing a bed with Castiel. Maybe it was wrong, since he was older than Dean, almost twice my age probably, at about twenty-six. But if it was wrong, then at that moment, I wasn't sure if I'd wanted to be right.  
>But then a sickening jolt ran through me. Gabriel had been a little strange, knowing my name and with the whole 'Dad' thing, but he was Anna's father, maybe she'd mentioned me. But how had Castiel known my name... Had I told him? I found it unlikely that Gabriel would've told him, and even if he had... How had he known to call me Sam, not Samuel?<br>I shook my head, shaking the sleep-chasing thoughts from my head. But for some reason, it didn't feel right without Castiel's comforting self behind me. Sighing, and resigning to the fact that maybe I had a problem, I pulled a pillow down and buried my face into it, in the same position I'd been sleeping on Castiel not an hour before.  
>I was asleep within minutes. <p>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! An almighty thanks to my fan, RubinAmigo! You plotbunny :) they guessed that Gabriel would go in to distract Dean. That idea is debated, but... Well. You'll see :)  
>I made myself laugh at the end... Just for you.<br>Vertual cookie for anyone who can guess what will come of the line 'Flaunt yourself' being mentioned in Dean's house.! :)  
>Please R&amp;R. and for a bit of shameless self advertising, tell your friends! :)<strong>

I drifted through the day, unable to stop thinking about the strangeness that was Castiel and Gabriel. And the fact that I'd woke up hard as a board, been able to pleasure myself, and it to actually be _pleasurable_ my Castiel-pillow pressed into my face and my arms around it. Which disturbed me a little.  
>When I got home, I drifted through my homework too, in the same detached, unthinking manner as school. Dean kept shooting me looks, which I ignored a little guiltily.<br>'I'm going to Alex's, yeah? I asked at twenty-five past nine.  
>'Okay. I won't be in when you get back, Bobby needs me again, and I'm leaving at nine thirty, so I'll leave the key outside for you. I might not be home till tomorrow evening, defiantly not by tomorrow morning, I told Ernie I'd do my shift at the scrapyard at the weekend instead. So will you be okay getting yourself up?'<br>'Yeah. Look after yourself, you hear?' I was lucky that I was meeting Castiel at the end of the road, the opposite direction to where Dean drove, as he drove down Winchester road, and had nearly caught me a few times, only the bushes providing protection from the Impala's almost _searching_ lights.  
>'Will do.' He answered, hugging me. 'Have a nice night.'<p>

I hovered on the corner, smiling briefly at the cherry-red mustang with Castiel's face in the driver's seat. Getting in the passenger side, I kissed him briefly before he started the car.  
>'What's the plan?' He asked, pulling away. I swore as Dean came out of the house, glancing twice at the mustang as if he'd seen me. I ducked down, breathing heavily, but Dean just shrugged and got in his car.<br>When we were a safe distance away from any possible route that Dean could take, I straightened up, sighing.  
>'That was too close. Thank God he-'<br>'Don't blaspheme.' Castiel murmured, cutting over me. 'Please.' I nodded, wondering why it was so important.  
>'What are we gonna do, Castiel?' I asked, debating whether or not I should put my hand on his, where it was resting on the gearstick.<br>He reached out and took my hand, ending my problem, and began to rub comforting circles on my palm.  
>'About... Us, whatever we are?' He asked, then sighed. 'I dunno.'<br>'What _is_ us?' I enquired curiously.  
>'I don't know yet.' He admitted. 'Ask me in a week.'<br>I chuckled dryly, then frowned. 'Is Gabriel gonna be here tonight? 'coz Dean ain't coming home, so I could stay all night, if you liked.'  
>'Of course I like.' He scolded, smiling a little. 'And Gabriel is in, but I'm working on him. He thinks I shouldn't have anything to do with you. And he's right. You're twelve years younger than me, it's wrong. But I can't help myself...' Castiel sighed, glancing at me. 'I feel for you, Sam. Like I've never felt before. You take it all away, all the pain and anguish from my brothers deaths...'<br>This was going so fast, it was almost making me dizzy. As it was, my breathing did sound a little ragged. 'How did they die?' I asked, to distract myself from the main body of those words.  
>'Demons killed them.' He answered. I nodded, figuring that Castiel was referring to demon-like people, bad people. Real demons didn't exist.<br>'Oh.' I answered. 'My mom was killed. In a fire, in my nursery. When I was a baby.' I closed my eyes, wincing. 'I can still see her burning... And d'you know, I swear she was on the ceiling...' I chuckled dryly. 'Strange, huh?'  
>'Yes.' Castiel agreed quietly. 'Strange.'<p>

I was sat on the sofa with Castiel, his hand on mine, watching tv. Gabriel was watching us.  
>'Okay, Cas?' He said eventually, eyeing his brother, I know you're not one for being in a relationship, uh, ever; but this is actually paining me.' Gabriel got up, pushed Castiel down on the sofa, me half on top of him, my head on his chest. 'There.'<br>As much as I wasn't overly keen on Gabriel, he had a point- this was much better. Laying on Castiel with his arms around me, listening to his heartbeat beneath his shirt, one of his hands stroking my hair... It was nice. Good.  
>'What is it about me that irks you, Gabriel?' I asked quietly, fiddling with one of Castiel's shirt buttons.<br>'Don't ask me to go down that road.' Gabriel murmured, and I could hear the distinct note of disgust in his voice- though it didn't seem directed at me. I glanced at him, spotting the clenched jaw and tight fists- sure signs of anger that I'd picked up from Dad when he were about to hit Dean or me. I winced instinctively, edging away a little, thinking of the marks that my body bore from this level of unconcentrated anger.  
>Gabriel caught the movement, as did Castiel, and the effect was instantaneous.<br>I was sat up, Castiel's arm around my shoulder, and Gabriel crouched in front of me looking in my eyes, before I could comprehend that I'd even moved.  
>'Who hurt you, Sam?' Gabriel asked quietly, holding my chin still so he could watch my expression.<br>I glanced at Castiel, who nodded encouragingly, stroking my shoulder. 'My Dad.' I murmured. 'It's not his fault. He's a drug addict, and sometimes he doesn't... I hate it so much when he hurts Dean.' I whispered, screwing my eyes shut as a few disobedient tears tried to leak out.  
>'He shouldn't do that to you.' Gabriel growled. 'To either of you.'<br>'He shouldn't.' I agreed. 'But he does.' A sudden, slow thought came to me, and I smiled. 'What if Gabriel befriends Dean? He could entertain my brother for a bit while I snuck out!' Castiel's eyes lit up, but Gabriel frowned.  
>'I don't think... See, I'm gay, Sam. And if my daughter finds out I've been spending time with your brother, imagine what the consequences could be. For all of us. What if she told your classmates?'<br>'Point.' I agreed. 'I'll just come out about half nine, get back for eleven, then climb out of the window at half past, and get back for five am.'  
>'That seems unnecessarily complex.' Gabriel pointed out. 'Why don't you just tell him that you fell in love with one of your clients?'<br>I raised an eyebrow, and Gabriel's jaw dropped. 'Oh. He doesn't know you...'  
>'No.' I ground out. 'And I prefer to keep it that way.' Gabriel nodded, biting his lips a little.<br>'I like your plan.' He decided, smiling weakly at me. 'I don't really have a problem with all... This,' He gestured at Castiel and I, 'As long as he's not paying you.'  
>Castiel and I glanced sheepishly at each other, and Gabriel groaned. 'Sam, would you be here if it weren't for the money?'<br>'...' I frowned a little. 'No, because I'd have to be out earning. But I'd be thinking of being here.' I admitted. I couldn't lie, not about that.  
>Gabriel didn't seem to know how to reply to that, but Castiel kissed me gently.<br>'Ew!' Gabriel shrieked. 'Get a room!'  
>It was nearing on six am when Castiel roused me from my heavy sleep.<br>'Gotta get you home.' He murmured. 'You need to go to school.'  
>I made an illegible noise into his pillow, and he pulled me by the hand out of his bed. 'Come on...'<br>Once I was up, I threw down a black coffee, cringing internally at the amount of stuff in it that was bad for you, but feeling wide-eyed and bushy-tailed instantly. Castiel drove me home, and parked on the drive, insisting that he come in, because my dad was too stoned to notice, and Dean was gone.  
>I felt a little bad for the state Dad had made my home during my absence- it was a mess. Completely. My OCD side wanted to start cleaning instantly, but the child side told me to get ready for school, the mess would be there when I got back. I listened to that sane side of my brain -if my brain had a sane side- and went to pack my bag.<br>When I returned, Castiel was closing a cupboard door. 'What are you doing?' I asked curiously.  
>'Just leaving you a bit of food. And your money.' He handed it to me, and I vanished to put it in our newest safe spot- a deserted mouse hole in Deans room, inside a small carrier bag.<br>'You shouldn't pay me for doing nothing.' I murmured, feeling guilty. It was practically charity.  
>'I want to. Just promise you'll stop flaunting yourself for a measly bit of cash.' I nodded, kissing him gently.<br>'I promise.'

Castiel parked around the corner from my school, so I could kiss him lightly without fear of discovery. I deepened it a little, brushing his tongue with mine before he drew away. 'Slow.' He told me, breathing a little ragged.  
>'I'll see you later, Castiel.' I replied, smiling.<br>'Sam?' I stopped glancing back at him. He kissed me gently, then scowled. 'It's Cas. Not Castiel.'  
>I nodded, kissing him again. 'Later, Cas.'<p>

I sat in maths doodling distractedly, not really paying any attention whatsoever to the algebraic formulae I'd seen four times. Cas's name seemed to be the main focus for my doodles, in several different fonts and styles, and I mentally scolded for drawing a heart around one. I didn't love him. . . Did I? Everything was moving so fast... Maybe I did. I wasn't sure. I only met him two days ago, and he was twelve years my senior, older than Dean. And paying me for my company. Which was certainly not the basis for a sound relationship.  
>By the time maths was over, I had decided three things.<br>1- Algebra sucks donkey testicles.  
>2-Miss Harris used to be a man called Benjamin.<br>3- I was in love with a total angel. Named Castiel. The greatest guy I'd ever met. 


	4. Chapter 4

**RubinAmigo... I can't even butter it up. You were totally wrong about them talking in Sam's home about Sam flaunting himself. Scaring wrong. Sorry. :)  
>It's twist time for all you plotlovers out there! YEYY! :D<br>P.S. Check out RubinAmigo's stories Ethereal Punishment and A Match Made In Heaven- (both of which I helped her with that's why they're so awesome) ;) **

I endured the long walk home alone, but I didn't mind. I had seeing Cas to look forward to. I did feel a little guilty about keeping secrets from Dean, now more than ever, but I don't know what it was... I just knew that I had to see Cas again. I didn't know why, but there was something...  
>I started to clean up as soon as I got in, the mess having been worse than I remembered- or maybe my Dad had been trying to find the money again. After checking the stash to make sure none was missing, I continued cleaning, having to shed my blazer and loosen my tie because of the sheer heat of the stuffy room.<br>Dean came in at five exactly, looking worn out. 'Hey, Sammy.' He murmured. 'I'm going to bed for a bit... Are you going out later?' I strained my mind for an idea, and a lightbulb turned on in my head.  
>'Yeah, Alex asked if I could stop over tonight because I don't have school tomorrow?' Dean nodded, scrubbing a hand across his face, opening the cupboard and pausing.<br>'Where'd we get all this food?' He asked.  
>'Um...' I thought quickly, aware of Dean watching me as the seconds ticked by. 'Alex's mom is paying me better 'coz it's getting close to finals, I figured we could use some stuff.' Dean glanced at me oddly, then nodded.<br>'Okay...' He answered slowly. 'Hey, were you in a mustang yesterday night?'  
>'No.' I lied quickly-perhaps a little too quick, because Dean's eyes narrowed infinitesimally as he scrutinized me. I tried to look innocent, and must've worked, because he nodded again, and reached in to get a coffee canister.<br>'Want one?'  
>'Nah,' I replied. 'I'm heading out earlier today. About half five, if that's okay?' Dean glanced at me again.<br>'Is anything bothering you, Sam?' He asked quietly. ''coz whatever it is, we can fix it.'  
>'Nothing, Dean, I'm fi-'<br>'He's a prostitute.'

My heart was pounding as I turned to see my father stood in the doorway, or rather, slumped against the frame, grinning mercilessly at me in a deranged manner. 'And a fag. I heard him talking to his boyfriend about 'Flaunting himself'. Fucking prozzie can't keep his legs closed.' John hiccuped, stumbling into the brightness of the kitchen with a squirt against the evening glare coming through the window, leaning against the counter with a glass of water.  
>I glanced at Dean, who was pale and trembling, clearly having put everything together. He was staring at me, unshod tears shining in his eyes. 'Is this true?' He whispered. He knew it was, I think, he just needed to hear it from me. 'Answer me!' I flinched away from the pure ferociousness that was radiating from him.<br>'Yes.' I answered quietly, head lowering in the submissive pose that I'd been forced to use almost every night for the past year of my life.  
>Dean was shaking with barely-contained anger. 'You... Had s-sex with s-strangers... For m-money...' He quivered a little.<br>'I was just trying to help...' I murmured. Dean shook his head fiercely, whipped around and slammed his hand into the wall.  
>'Not like that!' His breathing was laboured, and he braced his palms against the wall, body shaking. 'I can't believe it...'<br>His body was heaving, and I realized with a sickening jolt that he was crying. 'Dean... I'm sorry, I just couldn't let you do all this on your own...'  
>'I'd rather die than make you do that...' He turned around, wiping tears from his face. 'How long?'<br>'A year.' I answered quietly. He whimpered, wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight.  
>'Never, ever again... I'm so sorry, I shouldn't protected you from this...'<br>'No Dean, it was my fault.' I answered. Dad scoffed from the kitchen.  
>'I would say get bent, but I think you already are.' Dad smirked, disappointment radiating from him in waves. The combination of Dean's unhappy anger and Dad's disappointment overwhelmed me, and I shook my head, backing away.<br>'I can't...' I turned around and left the room, leaving Dean and my Dad watching me.

When it got to nine thirty, I steeled myself, and swung the window open. No-one had come into my room, and if they did now, well I wouldn't be there to have to listen to it.  
>Lowering myself carefully to the floor, I padded along the street in time to see the familiar cherry-red paint of the mustang round the corner. Leaping into the passenger seat, I glanced at Castiel and burst into tears.<br>'Whoa!' Cas wrapped his arms around me, shushing. 'What's up?'  
>'Dean knows... He knows everything.' I buried my face in his shirt. 'I won't be able to... I don't have long. I can't see you again. I'm sorry, so sorry...'<br>Castiel tried to kiss me, but I inched away. 'I have to go, I'm sorry.' I held onto his hand as I started to get out of the car. 'We can't... I love you. I'm sorry.'  
>'Sam, wait!' I heard him call after me as I ran off, but I ignored him with every fibre of my being.<p>

Days passed.  
>I didn't speak to anyone, didn't concentrate at school, stayed in at evenings, laying in my bed thinking of Cas. Did he miss me as much as I missed him?<br>Dean kept trying to drag some evidence of emotion out of me, but a careful wall had built in my mind, making me distant from... Everything.  
>Then a week had passed. And for the first time since we moved in, someone knocked on our door. <p>


	5. Chapter 5

** For LeighAnnWallace and RubinAmigo. You are a pair of very nice readers :). RubinAmigo was right :)**

I got up to answer the door, curiosity breaking through my hardened heart.  
>The second it opened, I was moved out of the way by a flying ball of angry oompa-loompa.<br>'How _dare_ you!' He was stood in front of Dean, screaming fit to burst. 'My brother's a mess because Sam's not with him! Are you stopping him from going out?' Gabriel was fuming, that much was obvious- and I was just stood watching brainlessly,the front door still open. Closing it, I walked over to Gabriel, turning him to face me.  
>'Calm down, Gabriel. If Dad hears you...'<br>'What's that racket?' John stumbled out of the bedroom, glaring at Gabriel. 'Who are you? Get the fuck out of my house!'  
>Gabriel's eyes flashed, and he took a threatening step closer to my Dad. 'Watch your tone with me, boy.' He warned quietly. 'I don't play nice.'<br>Dad glared at Gabriel, then smirked. 'Oh I get it. You're the boy toy. The one I heard the other day. Aww, poor Sammy loves you _so_ much, you should hear him cry for you every fucking night. It's pathetic.'  
>Dean snapped before Gabriel did, flying at Dad.<br>'You-fucking-dick!' Dean was hitting him down, roaring. I stood there like a freakin' lemon as Gabriel watched with a slight hint of glee. Somehow, my dad's whimper snapped me out of it, and I pulled Dean off the bloody lump on the floor.  
>'Dean...' I put my quaking brother on the couch, fetching a damp rag to wipe at my father's bleeding, swollen face.<br>'Get off me, fag!' He spat, backhanding me across the face. I crouched submissively beside Dean, only my hand on my brother keeping him still. John hitting me was not an unusual occurrence, and it was always hard to keep Dean calm after.  
>Gabriel was shaking, and took a step toward John, picking him up by the collar of his grubby shirt and slamming him into a wall.<br>Gabriel put his face very close to my Dad's, flinching at the weed-tinted breath. 'If you ever hit that boy again, I will kill you.' There was a low, growling promise to his voice, but John sneered.  
>'I'll shoot you first. You have no idea how dangerous I am.'<br>Gabriel snarled, releasing John before slamming a fist into his gut, making him fall to the floor. 'I know everything about you, John Winchester. And I killed Azazel. So show me some respect.' Gabriel turned back to me, shaking his head as I tried to ask him who Azazel was, and he glanced at Dean. 'I am taking this boy with me now, to see his lover.' Gabriel extended his hand to me, and I took it, but Dean grabbed my wrist.  
>'Who is this guy? Your 'lover'?' He rasped.<br>'... I'm sorry.' I shook Dean off, following Gabriel out of the door.

I bowled up the stairs the second Castiel's front door was opened, finding him in his room, lay fully clad on his bed, in much the same position as he had been that first night I stayed with him. I leapt onto the bed, clutching his shirt desperately in my fingers as I kissed him frantically.  
>'I missed you... So much...' I panted, kissing his neck over and over. He seemed a little shocked, he was frozen, watching me, but then he wrapped his arms around me tightly, sobbing into my shoulder.<br>'How...?'  
>'Gabriel.' I laughed a little. 'I guess he doesn't hate me as much as I thought.'<br>Castiel's frantic fingers were stroking my face, as if unconvinced I was real. 'You're here...' I lay down next to him, and kissed his palm.  
>'I am. And I swear, I'm never leaving you.'<br>'What about Dean?' He asked, kissing my cheek with that same stunned look.  
>'I don't think...' I sighed a little, remembering Dean's face when he heard about my 'lover'. He seemed... Revolted. 'Don't think wants me there.' I finished.<br>'You still have to go to school.' Cas whispered. 'But for now, just sleep. We can deal with that in the morning. And Sam?'  
>'Yeah?'<br>'I've been waiting a week to tell you that I love you, too.' 


	6. Chapter 6

** This chapters question is... What is Dean going to do? :)  
>Another big Thankyou to my special two people ;) And hey to DixieDiamond. Sort of thank you :)<strong>

I woke up groggily, feeling Cas's arms around me.  
>'Good morning.' He whispered, kissing the back of my neck gently. I turned in his arms to face him, resting a hand on my cheek.<br>'I thought I'd dreamt it...' I murmured. He smiled, and shook his head.  
>'You must have bad dreams.' He laughed gently. 'You have school today.'<br>I groaned. 'I wanna stay here with you.' I complained, stroking down his sleep-mussed hair.  
>'People will get suspicious.'<br>'My uniform's at home.' That stumped Cas a little.  
>'Um... You can wear something of Gabriel's, he's small enough, can give you some black jeans and a shirt. I'll come in school and say that your clothes were dirty and the washing machine broke or something.'<br>'Don't come in.' I answered quickly. 'Call in. They've seen Dean before, they know what he looks like. But your voice is kind of like John's, you could pass for him.' Cas nodded, and I smiled, kissing his nose. 'I wanna talk to Gabriel. Be right back.'

The only closed bedroom door in the house was at the opposite end of the hall to Castiel's, and when I knocked and heard Gabriel tell me to enter, I was hit by the scent of lavender and the overwhelming pink fluffiness of the room.  
>Shaking my head, I sat down on the end of his bed. He smiled weakly, slumping his head back into the pillow.<br>'Thank you, for yesterday.' I murmured.  
>'No problem.' Gabriel yawned. 'Black jeans and shirt are on the drawers.' He waved his hand at the painted-pink drawers, where the clothes were folding neatly on top. I glanced at him quizzically, and he shrugged under the duvet. 'I'm psychic.'<br>I laughed lightly, patting his leg through the duvet. 'There is something... Unusual about you, and Cas. But really? I don't care. I love you both, so much.' Gabriel frowned a little.  
>'I'm pretty sure Cas will tell you why we're freaks when he's ready.' He said slowly, smiling. 'But we won't ever hurt you, promise.'<br>I nodded. 'I know. But I think you could... If you wanted to.'  
>I got up to get the clothes, and when I reached the door, I heard him reply quietly. 'I could hurt you more than you can ever know.'<p>

Where last time I was at school it was so fast, it was going so slow now. I sat in the last lesson of the day, practically hard in Gabriel's jeans at the thought of being able to see Cas in ten minutes.  
>School hadn't mentioned my non-uniform, and I had been pretty glad about that- it wasn't worth the effort to explain.<br>I rapped my pencil against my desk in time to the clock ticking on the wall, counting down the minutes.  
>'Dude, stop tapping you're making me nervous.' I glanced at Alex, who was watching me carefully. 'Why so impatient?'<br>I shrugged. 'Just uneasy, I guess.'  
>At one minute to, the thought of seeing Cas had actually begun to make me hard, and Gabriel's skinnyjeans were not improving my situation at all. I darted out of class the second the bell went, hurtling down the stairs and into the lot.<br>Glancing around, I swore low as I saw Dean watching me. The pain in his eyes was so sharp, so... Painful...  
>He mouthed one silent word, agony etched in his features. "why?"<br>I shook my head, turning and getting into the mustang, as I saw him get in the impala. 'He's gonna follow us.' I warned, kissing Cas quickly.  
>He swallowed, glancing at my crotch. 'Seems we should get home fast, then.' He told me. I caught his smile, and chuckled a little, noting his hidden meaning.<br>We pulled out of the lot faster than we were supposed to, and I saw Dean smile weakly in the wing mirror, probably assuming that he was a better driver than Castiel, or indeed anyone.  
>We sped down the roads, taking the longest route home, but Dean guessed our game and followed us closely.<br>'Let's just go home.' I sighed. 'He's not gonna give in.'  
>Cas nodded, pulling up outside the house minutes later. He darted inside at my instruction, and I stood in the door as Dean pulled up and got out of the Impala, storming up the path.<br>'Let me see him.' Dean fumed. 'Let me see the lowlife, scumbag asshole who _stole my brother from me_!' He shouted the last part, and I heard Cas shift on the other side of the door, but my foot was behind it so Dean couldn't push it open.  
>'No-one stole me, Dean. I came here out of choice.' I murmured, noting the slight rasp to my voice.<br>'That's bullsh-'  
>'Is there a problem here?' Gabriel was stood behind Dean, the porche keys in his hand. Dean glared at him, walking past him.<br>'I'll be back.' He warned me. 'And I'll kill that dick who took you from me.' 


	7. Chapter 7

** You lot freakin' owe me. 7 chapters in two days.. I'm overworked.  
>My question... What will Sam say to Cas's latest revelation?<br>Sorry about the shortness, it was too good a cliffhanger to resist. And you won't find out what happens until tomorrow... Mwhahaga! :D :) **

Dean, true to his word, was hammering on the door an hour later. Why he bothered leaving was beyond me- until I saw the bag in his hand.  
>'Sam, open the freakin' door!' He yelled, hammering. 'I've got something for you!'<br>I slowly eased my way out of Cas's arms, leaving him on the sofa to open the door a little.  
>'Dean, look...' I stepped out, closing the door to behind me. 'I want to be here.'<br>'I just wanna meet him...' Dean whispered. 'Please. I wanna know who the guy is that you like enough to leave me for.'  
>'It's...' I sighed, struggling over whether or not letting him in would be a wise decision- depending if there was any weapons on him or in his bag. 'I'm gonna have to frisk you.'<br>'You're taking the piss.' he rolled his eyes, dropping the bag and taking a step back. 'Frisk away.'  
>I searched him quickly, experience clear in my smooth speed. He sighed when I pulled the pistol from the back of his jeans and the switchblade from in his pocket. 'You are not going anywhere near him, with any weaponry on your person.'<br>Dean scowled. 'Don't you trust me?'  
>'Of course I do. . . But you don't know what to expect. And trust me. It won't be like you could <em>ever<em> expect.'  
>I began to search through the bag, pausing at the contents. Dean's leather jacket, and a set of keys to the Impala. 'What is this?'<br>'I want you to hunt with me.' He answered quietly. 'Hit the open road and never look back. Send Dad to rehab- it'll be in his own hands then. I want you to come with me, Sammy. I want you with me.'  
>My chest tightened a little. I'd wanted to hunt, forever, but Dean wouldn't let me, said it was too dangerous. If he was willing to do that, even to give me keys to the Impala...<br>'If Castiel can come.' I found myself thinking out loud, stroking the tender leather delicately.  
>Dean hesitated, then nodded slowly. 'Fine. But if he gets us killed...'<br>'He won't.' I promised. 'Him and Gabriel, they have... I don't know. Something. Something like I've never seen before.'  
>Dean raised an eyebrow. 'Can I meet this guy yet?' He raised his hands. 'You have my weapons, swear.'<br>I nodded, leading the way inside.

I held my breath as Dean's gaze lighted on Castiel. 'You must be Castiel's father.' He said, grinning falsely at my lover.  
>'Dean...' I bit my lip anxiously. 'This <em>is<em> Castiel.'  
>The effect of those three words was slightly alarming. Dean raised his eyebrows, then extended a hand. 'Nice to meet you.'<br>Alarming because Dean barely possessed a polite bone in his body. And he was using it on my twenty-seven year old... Boyfriend? seemed so trivial...  
>Castiel shook the hand nervously, standing up. 'I assure you, Dean, I was not trying to steal your brother.'<br>Dean nodded, glancing at Gabriel, who was sat on his usual chair with his hands clenched. 'And... Oh I'm not starting discussing who you are...' Dean shook his head at my kind-of brother-in-law, sitting down heavily on the other vacant chair. 'So will you come?'  
>'Cas?' I glanced at him, and he nodded infinitesimally.<br>'I will go anywhere and everywhere you ask me to.' He replied simply. I smiled, kissing him gently, then remembered our present company. But shockingly, Dean was smiling.  
>'You're so cute. But, something...' My brother frowned suddenly, pressing a hand with extreme hesitance to Castiel's shoulder. 'Sam was right. What are you?'<br>'There is no simple way to explain this to you, so please believe us. Because it could be bad to show you. My brothers and I...' Cas glanced almost apologetically at me, and I steeled myself for the worst. Shifters, vampires, what?  
>'We're angels.' <p>


	8. Chapter 8

** Love you all... My fingers hurt. Be grateful. I apologize for the cliffy. My question is... what is Gabriel's secret? I HAD TO MAKE THEM PINK OKAY? :)  
>slash. For all those people at uni :) :) <strong>

Angels aren't real. _Angels_ aren't real. Angels _aren't_ real. Angels aren't _real_.  
>No matter how I said it-for that's what I was doing, although I didn't notice, - it didn't make the huge, black-shadow wings sprouting from his shoulders any less real.<br>But... Angels aren't real.  
>'Yes, they are.' Castiel replied quietly. Apparently I was speaking my mind again-literally.<br>I glanced at Dean, who just seemed entranced by the detail that the shadows possessed. He reached out to touch, but Cas drew them back into his body, and they vanished.  
>'It arouses me when my wings are touched. I don't think you should be the one to experience that.' Cas explained, looking at me. 'And we'll discuss that later.'<br>'You can hear my thought?' I asked, astonished. Sure, I had been debating Wing-kink, but... Shut up.  
>'Not just yours. Your brothers too.' He added, glancing at Dean. 'Although he'll be pleased, I'm sure, to know that Gabriel can't.'<br>'Can I touch your wings?' Dean asked suddenly, looking at Gabriel. 'Not to like, arouse you or anything, just... Look, I'm sorry for, well, everything. And I'll even let you come on the road trip with us...?'  
>Gabriel hesitated, then nodded, stretching out his own black shadows, before vivid pink wings burst from his body, longer and wider than him by far.<br>'They would be pink...' I murmured, looking away. 'What color are yours?'  
>'Green.' Cas replied, smiling. 'The exact green of your eyes.'<br>Dean reached out, stroking a tentative hand through the feathery mass, making a groan burst from Gabriel's lips, and his pants tent instantly.  
>'Wanna go upstairs?' I asked quickly.<br>'Yep.' Cas replies, pressing two fingers to my forehead.

Seconds later- because I always look at a clock before I pass out, obviously- I was awake again, and in Cas's room.  
>'Ugh, I need to poop.' I complained. 'Never, ever do that again...'<br>Cas chuckled softly. 'I thought it was better if we got out of there as fast as possible.'  
>I nodded in agreement, then darted into his en-suite.<p>

When I returned, Cas was still stood up.  
>'Can I see your wings?' I asked quietly, touching his shirt and pulling his head down to me and kissing him gently. He nodded, smiling into me, and I saw the huge black shadows before I felt a soft, comforting presence around me. Opening my eyes, I gasped a little at the shining cocoon around me. Green faded into blue at the tips, down into black at the base.<br>'You are so beautiful...' I whispered, trailing a finger across his feathers delicately. He shuddered a little, unwrapping the delicate appendages from me, so they stood out at his sides instead, arching proudly under my lavished attention.  
>'Not as beautiful as you.' He answered. I barely heard the words, I was too busy running my hands across the gorgeous silk of his wings, tracing from the base to the tips with loving care.<br>'Is that a pen or are you just happy to see me?' I murmured. He chuckled dryly, and kissed my neck.  
>'I want to make love to you...' He whispered. 'Love. Not sex...' I felt his hands push me down gently onto the bed, lavishing my chest with attentive kisses as he undressed us both.<br>The second he pushed into me, my world exploded.  
>This was unlike anything I had ever experienced, it wasn't like the four-hundred-ish fucks I'd received or given in that one long year. It was soft, gentle, perfect... It was love.<br>The feel of his soft wings around me as he stroked me in time with his thrusts was... Indescribable. My hips bucked into him as I came, and I felt him come in my ass, groaning a little, wingtips caressing my chest lovingly.  
>'I love you...'<br>'I love you too.' He answered, kissing my chest gently, wings arching splendidly as he pulled out.  
>'How are Gabriel and Dean doing?'<br>Cas cocked his head and frowned. 'I think Gabriel's about to blow in his pants.'  
>'Does Dean know that?' I asked, chuckling.<br>'I don't believe so. He's too busy molesting Gabriel's wings.'  
>'Are they really that sensitive?'<br>'Imagine someone placed an ice pack on your cock when you're about to come. It's ten thousand times more sensitive than that. And obviously more pleasurable.'  
>I smiled, kissing him gently. 'Lets go. I think Dean'll have a job.'<p>

Gabriel was curled on the sofa, wings splayed over the edge, limp and fluttering a little.  
>'Okay there?' Cas asked him, chuckling. Gabriel's expression was one of complete bliss, and he smiled happily.<br>'I'm great...' He sighed. 'Wow...'  
>I grimaced a little, knowing that it was my own brother that had caused such overwhelming waves of pleasure in my lover's brother.<br>'Cas...' Gabriel murmured to his brother, snapping out of his lustful daze. 'Can I talk to you...' Gabriel glanced around, 'Privately?'

I sat chatting companionably with Dean for a few minutes until Cas returned alone, smiling a little. I sat on his lap, my head on his chest.  
>'You're not gonna tell me, are you.'<br>'It's Gabriel's secret... He'll tell it when he's ready.' Cas was wearing that small, adorable smile, and I knew that whatever Gabriel's secret was, it wasn't bad. 


	9. Chapter 9

**My question for you... Hm...Where are at the end of the chapter? :) :) **

We were all ready to go.  
>Gabriel was sat shotgun, Dean, obviously, driving- he loved his Impala too much. Cas was locking up, and, for the first time in years, he told me, putting his Mustang in the garage. Before leaving, he patted the bonnet lovingly.<br>'This was the first car I ever got. When I realized I couldn't just zap everywhere.' Cas chuckled, then appeared in the Impala and made Dean jump. I jogged down, getting in beside him while Dean tried to regulate his breathing.  
>'Fuck, Castiel! Don't do that!'<br>'One minute!' Gabriel vanished, then appeared seconds later, stuffing a carrierbag into his pink jacket. 'Let's go!'  
>'What was that?' Dean asked, frowning as he started the car.<br>'Do you really want to know?' Gabriel raised an eyebrow, smirking. Dean nodded, and Gabriel pulled out the carrierbag, emptying the contents onto his lap. I heard Dean chuckle, and got a little bit curious.  
>'Guy after my very own heart.' Dean laughed. Probably assuming my curiosity, Gabriel held up a hand, pink fluffy handcuffs hanging from a finger.<br>'I have a problem, okay?' Gabriel snapped jokingly, stuffing the bag back in his pocket.  
>'Why is everything always pink?' I groaned.<br>'Because I'm the gayest gay ever, and because my wings are pink, and because pink is _AWESOME_!'  
>I raised an eyebrow, shaking my head as I leant into Castiel. He unfurled him wings and wrapped them and his arms around me, pulling me closer.<br>'Sammy, we need to stop at home first, pick up our stuff...' I nodded, snuggling into Cas as the car stopped.  
>'Come with us?' I asked. Cas nodded, and Gabriel turned in his seat.<br>'I'm not staying by myself!'  
>'Well then by all means come along, Sir!' Dean chuckled, and I rolled my eyes.<br>'Which Harry Potter was that?'  
>'Half-Blood Prince.'<br>'Child.'  
>'Bitch.'<br>'Jerk.'  
>'Shut up.'<br>'Get lost.'  
>'Come on!' Cas snapped, rolling his eyes as he got out of the car.<p>

Dean unlocked the door, groaning at the state of the apartment. 'Son of a _bitch_!' He growled. 'I was gone for one hour, one _fucking hour_! An he manages to trash the house! John! Where are you, you douchebag?'  
>Cas retracted his wings. 'I can rehabilitate your father. Free his system from drugs and help him start over. Then it will be his decision whether or not he gets better.' I nodded, grabbing Cas's hand as my dad stumbled into the room.<br>'Sammy! I thought you were too busy f-fucking your fag boy to come and see the man who r-raised you?' Cas touched two fingers to my Dad's forehead, and the change was instantaneous.

My dad's eyes cleared for the first time in ten years, and he stared at me. 'Sammy...' He took a step toward me, but Dean growled, pulling me behind him. 'Dean, Sam... There aren't words for how sorry I am...' His voice was normal, rather than roughened with drugs, and I actually felt bad for him.  
>Ducking around Dean, I pulled my Dad into a hug as he started to sob. 'Shh... It's okay...' Stroking a hand down his back as he cried, all the anger and guilt of the past ten years overwhelming him.<br>'I can't believe I... You... He... I should've been there... You... Prostituted?'  
>'Yes.' I answered quietly.<br>'Gay?'  
>'Yessir.' He looked at Gabriel with tears in his eyes, released me, and extended his hand.<br>'Castiel, I offer you, the deepest, sincerest of apologies.'  
>Gabriel shook the hand, then smiled a little. 'Thanks. But I'm Castiel's brother.'<br>'...' Dad's eyes darted to my lover, who was stood silently with his head lowered. 'You... You're my son-in-law...' He took a step toward Castiel. 'You're the one who fixed me...?'  
>'I cleared your body of drugs and cravings using celestial intent.' Cas corrected. 'Whether or not you begin to take drugs again is on your own head, so to speak.' Dad nodded, then his brow furrowed.<br>'Celestial intent?'  
>'I'm an angel, as is my brother. He killed Azazel four years ago.'<br>Dad frowned, then nodded, glancing at Gabriel. 'Did he suffer?'  
>'It is not in our nature to-'<br>'Did he suffer?' Dad repeated, and Gabriel nodded minutely.  
>'More than you could imagine.' He replied fiercely.<br>'Good.' Dad slowly turned to Dean, eyes shining with the ghost of regretful tears. 'Dean... I could never forget, could never apologize enough for the responsibility you had thrust on you...'  
>'I don't know if I can forgive you.' Dean said quietly. 'At least not yet.' He sighed. 'Look, Sam and I, with Gabriel and Castiel, we're going hunting. And... I don't want you to come. You'll be okay alone?'<br>Dad nodded. 'I've been alone before. I'll be fine. I'll deal with the house. Just promise me you'll look out for Sammy.' Dean nodded too, shaking the hand extended to him.  
>'Yessir. You can depend on me, Sir.'<br>'I always could... Son.'

We had packed- forcefully ignoring the leather pants that Dean had seen, and looking wounded- and were driving down the interstate, me wrapped in Cas's legs, arms and wings, head on his chest, and Gabriel and Dean singing along to the crap that was blaring from the speakers. Who knew they'd have the same taste in music?  
>I was reflecting upon my feelings at leaving my Dad- and I was uncharacteristically saddened.<br>'Your brother and mine, they share a profound, unique bond.' Cas whispered, wrapped in the soundproof cocoon of his wings. 'That was his secret.'  
>i smiled a little. 'Makes sense. They're both sex-obsessed, wierd... Well, they're not both people, but... You know what I mean.' I scowled as he kissed me, making him chuckle as he let some noise creep through his wings.<br>'Where are we headed?' I asked Dean loudly over the music. Dean just smirked, and kept driving.

I was in the house. The guy was older, and couldn't stop watching me.  
>'Do I bother you?' I asked eventually, and he laughed.<br>'Nah, you don't bother me. I haven't seen you in twelve years. You've changed, idjit.'  
>I nodded, shuffling a little closer to Cas on the beaten sofa.<br>'So what've you got for us?' Dean asked, handing the guy a beer.  
>'There's too much lore on angels. Any questions you got, you're gonna have to ask them, I don't care of they're awkward!'<br>'But-'  
>'Deal with it, Idjit boy!' <p>


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey. :) you people better love me. Ten chapters in three days... I'm overworked.  
>This is mainly a filler chapter, and the last bit was just for my own entertainment.<br>My question is... Who is it? :)  
>I love making you think. ^_^<strong>

My first night that the house was comfortable, to say the least. A nice warm room, soft bed, and an adorable angel in my arms. When I rose in the morning, it was to a mewling, hard Cas and the smell of bacon and sausages. I smirked, wrapping a hand around him and stroking.  
>'Good morning to you too.' I murmured, smiling, before jerking him to completion.<br>'Sam, you're... Incredible.' He murmured against my neck, kissing it gently.  
>'I know.' I teased, getting up and stretching. 'Come on. I smell food. Fatty food, but I'm seriously too nutritionally-deprived, and too hungry, to care.'<br>Cas chuckled, getting up and pulling on his clothes, literally in seconds. I glared a little as I took my time, then held his hand as we went downstairs.

'Hey Sam. Sleep well didya?' Bobby asked sarcastically, smirking.  
>'Yeah, thanks, Bobby.' I was still not used to the guy, despite how much I liked him and had heard Dean say multiple times that Bobby had been like a father to him. 'You?' He raised an eyebrow.<br>'I... You mean you didn't... Oh, this is gonna be amusing...' Bobby began to laugh.  
>I frowned, just as Gabriel and Dean stumbled trough the door- <em>stumbled<em> being the operative word, because they were engaged in something far more entertaining than walking with anything resembling grace.  
>Dean glanced at me sheepishly as he sat down on the sofa, and I raised an eyebrow. 'I don't even wanna know why he had those handcuffs...' As it were, Dean did seem to be squirming a little, but Gabriel's hand on his thigh stopped him.<br>'They were... Pretty useful...' A red flush began to crawl up Dean's neck, and I forced out a shocked laugh.  
>'You're blushing!' I began to <em>really<em> laugh, almost falling off of Cas's lap.  
>'Bitch.' Dean snapped.<br>'Jerk.' I replied.  
>'Do you always do that?' Cas asked, chuckling. I was about to reply, then got distracted by the sight of Dean and Gabriel practically swallowing each other. I cleared my throat pointedly, and Dean stuck his finger up at me, and without breaking the 'kiss', he swung one leg over and straddled Gabriel's thighs, wrapping his hands in the angel's hair.<br>'Um...' I started. Gabriel skirted his hands down Dean's back and under his shirt, fingers tightening on my brother's waist. 'Dean...' Dean stretched up, holding Gabriel's face, hips pressed into his lover's stomach. 'How have you not had to breathe yet?' It got a little bit overwhelming for me when Gabriel's hand slid down over my brother's ass and spanked his thigh, growling, and I looked away, then Castiel clicked his fingers.  
>'What the-!' Gabriel was sat alone, and Dean was stood beside us, shaking his head. 'No fair!' He complained.<br>'I think you were making an awkward situation for your brother.' Cas explained. 'And our guest.'  
>'Our...?' Dean glanced around, frowning at the black guy sat suddenly beside Gabriel. 'Back away slowly and I won't break you...' He threatened, taking a step forward.<br>'Calm down, Mud Monkey.' The guy snapped.  
>Dean raised an eyebrow, watching the guy as he took Gabriel's hand and pulled his lover to him.<br>'Hello brother.' Castiel said. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow now, and the guy glared at me.  
>'Castiel. Gabriel. Gabriel, Raphael is asking about you. Keep your head low. And avoid fraternizing with Mud Monkeys.'<br>The guy vanished, and Gabriel sighed. 'Obviously still the funniest Angel in the garrison, huh Cas?'  
>Castiel nodded, rolling his eyes. 'Obviously.'<br>'Fuck him. He dropped my lollipop when I kicked him off a cloud, and he still hasn't got me another...'  
>'Who was it?' I asked, frowning.<br>'Dr. Doom, joy as he is, he's our ultra-funny brother,-'  
>'When you're in heaven are you guys multiple-wavelength beings of celestial intent?' Bobby interrupted, walking into the room.<br>'Yes.' Castiel answered, and thus, the subject was abruptly changed.

Watching Gabriel and Dean molest each other was not high on my list of priorities, so Cas and I hit the small village near by to splash the almost-grand he'd found in his pocket. Yep, I was dating an Angel who was rich enough to potentially lose a thousand pounds, find it, then decide to go shopping. Although from what he'd told me he could zap back home and get ten times the amount out of the cupboard in his Mustang. And wouldn't even miss it.  
>How on earth we ended up inside the pinkest shop in the existence of forever was beyond me, but we did, and the artificial pink light was a little overwhelming.<br>Castiel raised an eyebrow, and wordlessly pointed to a florecent pink sailor's uniform that combined Gabriel's two favorite things- kink and pink.  
>Thinking of that made me wonder why he didn't like ink... Or sinks...<br>Cas chuckled at my thoughts, and shook his head. 'You know we have to buy that for him now, right?'  
>'I know.' I sighed. 'But there is no way I'm touching it.' Cas laughed, and lifted the uniform from the shelf, standing in line with me without looking the least bit embarressed- whereas my face matched the outfit perfectly. Especially when the sales clerk handed over a matching whip and gag.<br>'You are taking the-' I swore quietly as we left the store. 'Scarred. For life. Do you know what he's gonna do with that?'  
>'Entertain your brother?' Cas guessed, smiling.<br>'"Entertain" is the wrong word for it.' I answered, cringing.  
>'Aw, well that's a shame...' Cas murmured as we got in the car.<br>'Why?' I asked.  
>Castiel smirked, delving into the bag and pulling out another uniform, a pink soldier's one. 'Because I got one. But I can take it ba-'<br>'I'll survive.' I interrupted with a smirk.  
>'Aww. Cas loves a Mud Monkey. How sweet.'<br>I glanced in the Impala's rear-view mirror, gritting my teeth as I saw Castiel's brother, the black one from earlier.  
>'Goodbye, brother.' Cas snapped, clicking his fingers, and the other guy vanished. 'Haha... Definitely still the funniest Angel in the garrison.'<br>I glanced at Castiel, unsure whether or not he was joking; the smirk told me he was. 


	11. Chapter 11

** I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF A QUESTION YET, BECAUSE I HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABBOUT THIS CHAPTER AT ALL. WHEN I'M FINISHED WRITING IT, I'LL THINK OF ONE. AND PROBABLY WON'T DELETE THIS PART. SO PLEASE DISREGARD IT. And sorry for any issues. I am having a pretty fucking shit night, basically.  
>However, I do love you all :)<br>(I am now continuing writing this. It is four thirty in the morning. My life sucks.) (I have just realized that if you put 'th' in front of 'at' you get 'that' ... Leave me alone. I'm slow.)  
>Wrote the first paragraph and decided where this was headed, and my question is... Who does Sam run into in the kitchen?<strong>

Castiel's brother, who's name, he eventually told me, was Uriel, turned up several more times that day, grating on Dean's nerves so much that Bobby taught him this sigil to draw on the door to stop Angels entering. So no more Uriel after that.  
>Gabriel was... Overjoyed wasn't a strong enough word. More like euphoric. Gabriel was euphoric at his present, and was a little sad that it was deemed unacceptable to go to bed before eleven, especially given that it was two-thirty in the afternoon.<br>He did, however, proceed to handcuff Dean to his chair, then practically give him a lapdance in front of us all.  
>'Sam, Dean! Get in here!' Bobby shouted us. Dean hesitated, shrugged, then sort of stood up, although still had a chair on his ass, and was handcuffed with both hands to the back of it, so there wasn't much he could do. I followed him, bemused, and watched as he put the chair down and sat on it, grinning at Bobby.<br>'Idjit boy.' Bobby scowled. 'I got you a job, I think.'  
>'Oh, well...' Dean stood up, chair and all, to peer at the newspaper article on Bobby's desk. Bobby turned it around so Dean could read it.<br>'Basically just a straightforward poltergeist job. You could be back in time for dinner.' Bobby explained as Dean read.  
>Dean glanced at me. 'Ready for your first hunt, Sammy?'<br>I nodded vigorously, the prospect of hunting at long last making me actually a little nervous.

The family were actually rather calm, despite the thing having actually attacked their son.  
>Dean showed me how to exorcise a poltergeist, and I caught on fast, he assured me.<br>When it was expelled from the house, the family returned. A young boy, about my age. It kind of upset me a little, to know that he'd had a bad few months with this spirit. He deserved a better life than that. But to see how it was before, in the pictures and from the happiness that practically radiated from his face now, it was clear to see he'd had a damn near perfect life. If it wasn't for Castiel, I'd be insanely jealous, of his life, his home, his family... Everything.  
>But I had Dean. And Castiel.<br>And that was worth more to me than anything.

I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating in that damn tight uniform. That Castiel was supposed to be wearing.  
>Although the free whip had been handy. And the gag.<br>Getting up- having to forcibly peel myself from the mattress- clenching my teeth as I peeled the tight material from my body; there was no way I was going downstairs like this.  
>I ran a hand across the delicate, sore skin of my behind, recalling the moans and euphoric gasps of the night as Castiel had brought me to a climax so utterly overwhelming I almost passed out underneath his tender punishments.<br>Pulling on Castiel's cast-off jeans, I left myself bare chested and padded quietly down the stairs.  
>Opening the fridge door quietly, aware of Bobby's deep breathing just behind the door in his studyliving room, I took out the only kind of beer I appreciated, used one of the many knives left around the house to open it, and took a swig before turning around.  
>'Aw, shit, man!' I flinched, shutting my eyes quickly. 'I can't... Believe... Scarred for life...'<br>The shadowy figure in the goddamn pink sailor suit chuckled weakly. 'Let's promise to never mention this.'  
>'Definitely.' I downed my beer, trying to block out the vision behind my eyes, and I saw him extend his hand, in a 'shake on it to promise' motion. I raised an eyebrow. 'No chance.'<br>'Yeah, that's probably... Night, Sam.'  
>'Night.' I scowled at the pink sailor as he walked away, debating how long this would be in my nightmares for. <p>


	12. Chapter 12

** HARD ONE! Who is it? **

I woke up naked beside Cas, wincing at the memory of the night previous. If possible, it had been even more scarring to see Gabriel dressed as a pink Sailor than it would've been to see Dean, because of the... Unconventional thoughts it had forced me to think. Dean had... Ugh. With Gabriel. In that damn... Ugh.  
>The thought of my brother enjoying his lover in that- or rather, the thought of my brother enjoying <em>my<em> lover's brother in that- put me off my breakfast. Severely.  
>We were all sat around the table, and when Cas asked me why I was eating, Gabriel shot me a 'Say-anything-and-you-die!' look. But trust me, I had no desire whatsoever to voice last night's events. That would just make it all the more real.<br>'I got us another job, Sammy.' Dean murmured, cracking open his first beer of the day.  
>'How far?' I asked through a glass of water.<br>'Not very. But it's weird... I don't know what it is. This guy, he just changed, his wife said. Went all... Well, you'll see for yourself when we get there.'  
>I nodded, getting up. 'C'mon then! No time like the present.'<p>

We knocked on the door, and Dean shot me a worried look before shoulder-barging it.  
>'Mrs Dexter?' Dean yelled. 'FBI!'<br>I passed for a young agent because of my hight, but Dean had, while we were asking around the town, been taking more control, stating to anyone who asked that he was my mentor and I was a trainee.  
>We searched the house quickly, and I felt a little nauseous as I spotted a hand, slack on the floor and barely visible out of a room.<br>'Dean!' I called, my voice sounding deeper than usual in the echoing emptiness of the house. Ducking around the doorframe with a gun armed and ready, my torch quickly scouring the room for any dangers. Dean came up behind me, and I whirled around, aiming my gun at him.  
>'Christ, Dean!' I hissed, exhaling heavily. He stepped into the room beside me as I knelt down to see to the girl, who didn't look to be visibly injured.<br>'No...' I cleared my throat softly, then continued. 'No p-pulse.'  
>'Aw, shit.' Dean knelt beside me, checking her over with expert ease and speed.<br>He then stood up, and began to search the floor with his light.  
>Goddammit.' He hissed, crouching by the door and touching his fingers to the floor. 'Sulfur.'<br>'What's that got to do with anything?' I snapped, a little irritated because this girl was dead and her husband was nowhere to be seen.  
>'Because I know what kind of monster we're hunting.' He answered quietly, rubbing the yellowish powder from his fingers.<br>'And what's that?' I asked, closing the girl's eyes gently before standing up, making a vow in my head that I would slaughter the thing that killed her. She looked so young, younger than Dean. And she looked like a girl I used to know, and thought I loved. Her name had been Jess. Not that I ever knew what happened to her, of course, and she'd be sixteen now, a beautiful young woman, probably in a relationship...  
>Cutting myself off from the love-filled thoughts I'd tried not to think since leaving Jess two years ago, I glanced at Dean.<br>'Oh, um... See, the thing is, Sam...-'  
>A loud crash downstairs cut him off from what seemed to be turning into quite a deep revelation, and he shot out of the room, with me close on his heels and on a warpath for whatever had killed her.<br>We found ourselves in the kitchen, which had been destroyed, Dean said, since he searched it. Glasses and plates were smashed on the floor, the table overturned, four ugly gauges on the underside. I frowned a little, placing my fingertips to the edge of the marks and trailing them along. They looked like scratches, _human_ scratches. But no human could do that...  
>'Samuel Winchester...' A voice crooned behind me. 'I have been waiting a long time for you to wander unwittingly into my presence... I can't wait to wear you, you've grown up well since we last met... But then again, that was... What? Eleven years ago? I think you were four... Your Daddy had left you all alone in the house... Just you, no Dean, no Daddy, and no Mommy either. All ripe for the picking, to finish Azazel's noble work. And when I showed up, and you seemed ecstatic! Of course,' They added, hissing as they began to shift behind me. 'I wasn't wearing an electrician then.' A tall guy wandered in front of me, and Dean flinched a little.<br>'Who...?' I murmured, narrowing my eyes. He smiled, and there was something almost feminine about it.  
>'You!' I heard Dean growl a little, then start to talk in Latin. 'Oh no you don't.' He-<em>it<em>- said in a sing-song voice, waving a hand carelessly at my brother. He collided with a wall, then slumped to the ground, unconscious. It smiled again, and I felt my head tilt back of it's own accord as a dark and unnerving something filled my body and took over my mind. 


	13. Chapter 13

** Who leaves? **

I felt my mouth moving, but I couldn't hear the words. It felt like I was submerged under water, and someone was trying to communicate with me. The feeling began to fade, and I caught a few words.  
>'Meg... Brother... Bitch...' Dean was shouting, at <em>me<em>, and he was tied to a chair by his hands and feet. I tried to answer, to tell him I was scared and couldn't control myself, but my mouth wouldn't form the words I wanted. Instead in continued to sneer, and as my hearing returned fully, I understood what 'I' was saying.  
>'Sam hates you, you know. He hates you for not working harder, because he had to go and get picked up by guys and girls older than Bobby to pay for you both. Did you know that Castiel was a client? That's how they met. Cassie gave him two hundred dollars for fucking him. If you ask me, though, Sam hates you mostly because you hate his Daddy. Oh, how Sam loved his Daddy! It almost brings a tear to my eyes!' I- or rather, me, though not- laughed mercilessly as Dean stared up at 'me', tears shining in his saddened gaze.<br>'Sam... If you're in there, if you can hear me, I love you.' He whispered before hanging his head a little. 'Oh. And I'll get her out of you. Demon bitch.' Dean glared at me, though I felt like it wasn't at _me_.  
>'Aww, poor Sammy is so confused!' I laughed loudly. 'So Sam, how much did Deano tell you, about how your Mom died?'<br>If it could've, my heart would've stopped. And if I could've, I would've swallowed, terror coursing through my body. But I couldn't, so I just had memories flash before my mind's eye, my mom burning on the ceiling, and something, someone, stood over me, something with yellow, gleaming eyes.  
>'That's... Why Sammy, all these years, you've been making us all believe you didn't remember! Well, well... I guess you are Azazel's child after all! A liar, a cheat... You see, Sammy, yellow-eyes was my father, and his name was Azazel. And on that night, he snuck into your nursery, and he bled in your mouth. And then he burnt your house to the ground, after frying your Mom over your crib like pancake. Ooh, I remember he used to tell me, the smell of her <em>burning<em> was so _delightful_...'  
>'SHUT UP!' Dean yelled, body wracking with sobs. 'Just... Shut up...'<br>'Aw, Dean!' "I" crooned. 'You didn't tell your brother, so I will! Or do you want to tell him that you've lied to him for fifteen years?' Dean glanced away, guilt creasing his face. 'That's what I thought. So, Sam, your Mom died, you moved, and then your Daddy was teaching Deano here how to shoot- to 'defend himself'-, and you were four years old and home alone; now isn't that proof of how negligent your father was?' I chuckled, smirking. 'I appeared in a slut- or rather, someone I'd made into a slut to please myself because honestly, her hair when I first possessed her was slightly offending. So I appeared, and you seemed so pleased to see me. Maybe it was because you sensed Azazel in me... But you laughed, and put your arms out to me. And I picked you up. You were the sweetest, but I saw what you would be... So powerful, with powers beyond reason... You have the potential to do such great evil...' I felt my arm being raised, fist clenching in my brothers direction. Terror overwelmed me as Dean began to retch, and spat blood onto the carpet. 'Oh, look. The noble hero bleeds after all. So Sammy, the secrets he kept from you for all those years... Demons are real, a demon killed your mother, he's gay, oh, and he has a son.'  
>'NO!' I tried to scream out, to object to being told all these lies by whatever monster, or rather, <em>demon<em>, had possessed me, but I didn't have control over my body. As it were, though, I did hear myself say 'no', although rather quietly.  
>'Oh, yes! A little boy, and he looks exactly like you did! His name is Ben. You remember Lisa? Poor, deceased Lisa. She was fun to kill.' Dean squirmed, tears flowing from his eyes as he tried to break free, mouth moving but no sound coming out. 'But her son... The second I find out where he is, I will lavish in killing him slowly.'<br>Dean's mouth was open wide, and despite the fact that he resembled a muted tv, I could tell he was screaming.  
>'And that angel...' The thing shook my head in mock sadness. 'He doesn't love you, doesn't want you. Just wants to control you, so he can take your powers. Think about it, Sam. You've known each other for less than a week... Nice people are nice. But no-one gives $180 tips. He wanted to control you. Still does. He's in it for the power, and for your sex, experienced as you are.' I felt my body convulse as my knees attempted to weaken, owing to my shock, but the thing kept me up. Castiel...<br>' _ Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, draco maledicte! Ecclesiam tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!_ Goodbye, Meg. And I'm sorry things had to end this way between us. '  
>It felt like vomiting, black smoke pouring from my mouth as I retched. A hand on my back as I straightened up a little, panting, rubbed me comfortingly.<br>'Are you okay?' Castiel murmured, pulling me into his arms as I began to sob. I jerked away, darting over to where Dean was tied up.  
>'Is it true?' I asked, tears streaming down my face as I cut the ropes. Dean nodded quietly, wiping away his tears as his arms were freed.<br>'I'm sorry.' He murmured. I shook my head wordlessly, backing away as he tried to hug me. I flinched away from Castiel, too, and trusting Cas to be able to get Dean home, or Gabriel, who'd just appeared behind my brother.  
>I shook my head. The two people who I loved the most in the world... They'd both lied to me. I ignored Dean's shouts and Castiel's sobs as I ran out of the door, my key to the Impala digging into my palm.<p>

**NO PoV. **

It was midnight.  
>An empty bed, well made and cold, told of a fitful night and desperate dreams.<br>Somewhere, a door slammed, and a man began to walk away from everything he thought he knew, realizing that he knew no more about what he was leaving behind than what he was heading to.  
>It was midnight.<br>Somebody awoke. He had felt the disturbance in his unconscious, had known something was off. When he discovered that empty bed, he realized what had happened, sat on the pale sheets, and sobbed as his heart broke. 


	14. Chapter 14

**hmm... Firstly, I enjoy confusing you. :)  
>secondly... Who is 'Unknown'? There is several clues, although slight. Let me know if you pick up on them. :)<br>loves and a virtual cookies to LeighAnnWallace and RubinAmigo for being excellent question answers! Between you both there has not been one wrong answer! Apart from the one with Gabriel the Pink Pirate. Tehee. :) **

I sat up, glaring at the sun. So bright, mocking me with it's perfectness. So I ran away, so what? Wouldn't you?  
>Watching Dean do the Enochian Sigil had been useful- now no angels could penetrate my shed.<br>The second I found a tattoo parlor, I was getting the anti-possession symbol on my chest. There was no way I would go through that again.  
>During the hours I'd spent here, I'd realized Meg had been telling the truth. If only just about how my mom died. But I believed her, about everything.<br>Dean.  
>Castiel.<br>Me.  
>I'd tried my abilities.. It hadn't been just her presence inside me. I could still... Hurt people.<br>I wasn't exactly proud of it, and I vowed not to use my powers for evil, like a rip-off comic book hero. But it made me realize that if this was real, why not the rest of it?  
>Dean...<br>Castiel...  
>I'd snuck out at midnight, leaving the bed carefully made after a fitful, nightmare-filled sleep. As I'd reached the edge of Bobby's scrapyard, I could've sworn I heard someone call me... But no-one was there.<br>Dean.  
>Castiel.<br>Traitors.

** UNKNOWN PoV **

Castiel's fists clenched in the crisp, cold sheets as he sobbed, uncomforted by his frantic brother.  
>His Sam had gone, because of his, shamefully, ex-lover. It had been the biggest regret of his existence, even more so now than before.<br>Dean had drunk himself into a loud oblivion, and was now proceeding to attempt to shoot all the empty glass bottles from his beer, singing 'Ten Green Bottles' loudly. Sam's favorite song as a baby, and Dean was the only one who knew that. Tears and drink impaired his aim, and more often than not, he missed the bottles and hit the barn behind. It now resembled that type of cheese. _The one with holes,_ Dean thought wryly, _the one Sam liked_.  
>Gabriel was frantically trying to comfort his brother, assuring him that he would go and find Sam, and listen to him, try and understand why he left. Castiel argued that Sam would not come home, and had left because Castiel was unworthy, of Sam, being an angel and unworthy of God.<br>Bobby was calling all hunters in the area, sending out a message to look out for Sam, and if he pleaded refuge, to offer it until one of them arrived.  
>I was watching from the backseat of half a Mustang, glee and malicious pleasure making me grin.<br>Meg had had her fun with the Winchesters and their angel buddies.  
>And this was the result.<br>So what would they do when _I_ was through playing?

** SAM PoV **

I needed money. That much was sure.  
>And I knew how to get it, the only way I could.<p>

Red Road. She was a curvy brunette. She stood before me, hair tumbling over her shoulders in what, to a straight guy, would be a sexy look. To me, she was just another customer.  
>We ended up back at her place. She told me how she liked it, and I told her my price.<br>She handed over the money, and then fucked me on her sofa, the fire in the hearth warming my skin when I lay beneath her, destroying myself on the inside.  
>As I was leaving, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. And three words were all I thought.<br>Haircut.  
>Cheater.<br>Whore.  
>I didn't see myself. I saw a shaggy-haired stranger, with darkened eyes and emotionless expressions. I saw a monster no worse than that which people like my brother made it their lives to destroy.<br>I saw evil of the highest order.  
>And I saw self-hatred, that feeling of unlove and betrayal in his eyes, and it was that made me recognize the stranger as myself. <p>


	15. Chapter 15

**RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBAYYYY! (nah nah, nah nah, nah nahh) sorry. I'm weird. Mwhaha. Erm. Who's that UKNOWN no.2?**

Her name was Ruby. She had met me three nights in a row, and on the fourth day, I had just got back from having my tattoo when I realized it was time to go and meet her. The anti-possession tattoo was simple enough, basically a pentagram with some dodgy flame thing around it. But I liked it, despite the fact that it hurt like a bitch to have done, and the sore skin had prickled in the fire's heat.  
>Ruby hated it. Her eyes went practically black when she saw it.<br>'Is that an anti-possession tattoo?' She had asked, her lip curling.  
>'Yes.' I answered quietly, and she scowled.<br>'They are a waste of time.' She mumbled later as she dressed, hands gliding-rather sexily, if you swung that way- over her body.  
>'I disagree.' I murmured, passing that goddamn taunting mirror as I made my way out of the door.<br>'I'll see you tommorrow.' She answered shrugging. 'Night, Sam.'  
>'Goodnight, Ruby.'<p>

** A DIFFERENT UNKNOWN PoV **

Sadness had washed over the household- until Bobby yelled out for Dean.  
>'I think we found him!' Bobby told his practically-adopted son. 'Rufus saw him, he thinks, coming out of some chick's house. In Vermillion.' He finished, frowning.<br>Castiel frowned too. 'From the centre of Sioux Falls to the centre of Vermillion it is approximately sixty-three point eight miles. Which should take twenty hours and forty minutes on foot and without stopping, maintaining a constant speed.'  
>'Thank you, o' fount of all knowledge.' Bobby snapped. 'Dean, I could be there in an hour.<br>Dean shook his head, snarling. 'I could be there in half an hour.'  
>'Well,' I answered, stepping out into the room, 'Firstly, you are all idiots, I can't believe you didn't notice me. And secondly, I can get you there in four seconds.'<br>Dean didn't comment on my presence, just narrowed his eyes at me. 'I think I'll take my chances with the sixty mile drive, thanks.'  
>'Actually, it is sixty-three point-'<br>'Shut up.' I sighed over the angel. 'You infuriate me sometimes, Castiel. Meg was most disappointed that you exorcised her. Seems the two of you have quite a history.' I grinned maliciously as his gaze went cold. 'And Dean, I'd take my help, if I were you.'  
>'Good job you're not then, isn't it, because I'd be one ugly asshole.' Dean quipped, then paused. 'Why would I do that?'<br>'Because unless you're there to stop her, that 'chick' is going to kill your brother.' I answered. Dean stood up a little straighter, and moved a little closer.  
>'Help us.' He murmured, watching me.<br>I cocked my head, smirking. 'I'll give you this one for free. But we still have to seal the deal my way.'

I was back at her house, for the fifth time. She said she'd be through in a minute, so I undressed, ready, my skin warmed by the fire that never seemed to be fed or out.  
>Something was amiss tonight, although I didn't know what. I stared into the flames, wondering if Castiel was thinking about me. Something hard collided with the back of my head, and I flew forward, hitting my forehead on the mantelpiece, blacking out. <p>


	16. Chapter 16

** For WickedLittleLies- screw you, my wraps were tasty! And I turned down ice-cream for you people!  
>In case the stress and excitement of my fic is too... Stressful and exciting(?) for you, read RubinAmigo's 'A Match Made In Heaven'. I love you Hun. Or I would... If I swung that way. ^_^<br>you know the Deal. Virtual cookies... Hm.. what does Dean see on Sam?  
>^Note I said ON. O.N. you'll understand.<br>... My Crowley seems drunk. So he is. I decided. I don't know why. Maybe he found a liquor store. And drank it.**

My eyes were shut. I opened them. And something was in front of them anyway, so I saw no reason in leaving them open. So I shut them again. I went to move my hand to wipe the something from my face, but found they were bound behind my back, around a pole or something such. My neck was also bound, though not to the pole. Just a rope or something, resting gently around my neck.  
>A collar.<br>My feet were spread, a little bit wider apart than my hips, and they were bound, too.  
>And I was naked-still.<br>I could hear something, someone, moving to my left. Then there was a knife at my jaw. 'Good morning, starshine.'  
>'Fuck you, Ruby.' I hissed.<br>'Tut tut. Shut up, you dirty whore.' The knife trailed down my neck to the anti-possession tattoo, and I put everything together.  
>'Demon.' I whispered, eyes widening behind what I now assumed to be a blindfold.<br>'Well done. And you're a half-demon. Kind of.' She chuckled, scraping that knife across my collarbone, and I hissed a little as she broke the skin.  
>'I am nothing like you.' I spat, literally spitting in her general direction.<br>I must've hit her, because she growled, and sliced her knife across my thigh, making me yowl.  
>'You are going to die here. And d'you know, everything Meg told you about Dean was real... But she lied about Castiel. Because he left her, when she thought he loved her. She lied. That poor angel actually loves you. And one day he'll find your tattered carcass abandoned in a ditch.'<br>My eyes closed behind my blindfold, and in a sudden bout of desperation, I began to pray silently.  
>'<em>Castiel<em>,'  
>'I don't know where I am... I need your help... I'm trapped, and I'm gonna die. I'm so sorry for walking out on you.. I thought... Well, that doesn't matter.'<br>'If I don't see you again, I love you, no matter what. And Dean. And even Gabriel. Look after them.'  
>'Amen.'<p>

** CROWLEY PoV **

The photo was my new favorite. I may have to get that 'Facepad' or whatever it is, and set it as my picture of me. Just for Dean. And then make him one and say we're married...  
>I think that's suitable payment for finding his brother.<br>Although the chubby oompa-loompa may not like it.  
>'Dean...' Castiel's eyes were shut, and I cocked my head. 'It's... Sam. He's praying to me. I can't... He...' Cas's eyes snapped open, concern and fear mingling in the blue. 'He's going to die, unless we get there, now.'<br>One glance my way, and suddenly the remembered me. 'Decided to recall my presence, have you?' I asked, then, as oompa-loompa-face opened his mouth to object, clapped my hands.

** SAM PoV **

I heard the sounds of something heavy fall the floor, and the knife was stabbed into my left thigh up to the hilt. I screamed, my much-abused vocal cords strained under the pressure if what had felt like hours of torture.  
>I felt the hand that had been on my shoulder vanish, and a loud thump, and Latin chanting.<br>Someone was here... Saving me.  
>The chanting continued. A hand was back on my shoulder, although notably larger and rougher than Ruby's had been.<br>Whispers, then lips at my ear. 'Hello, Samuel. In case you wondered, you look a mess. And Dean seems unhappy about something... I wonder what that could be. I think it's this... And the guy who did this..' He trailed a hand across my ribs, the handprint-bruises that refused to fade, and down the whip-scars on my hip. 'He's dead. Mysterious circumstances, they say... If you ask me, it looks like the marks of a hellhound...' Crowley's hand vanished, and I found I could move my legs. Drawing my thighs up to cover myself as best I could, I felt a tugging at my wrists, and moved them to my eyes, tugging off the blindfold, and opening them.  
>I couldn't see. <p>


	17. Chapter 17

** ... Er...  
>I won't update from... My tomorrow at about ten, then until about three Sunday evening. My dad doesn't have Internet! D: and I can't use a libary or anything, but I will write, so I can update about tenORtwenty times Monday afternoon! Ahah! I will put a bit of space between chaps to get reviews though... So the faster you review, the faster I update! :D<br>Yes, RA, i copied and pasted that. ^_^  
>Erm... What does Bobby see?<br>And I don't mean on the sofa.  
>That's as bad as it sounds, too. the first bit, anyway. The second bit isn't... YeH.<br>Don't mix Fanfic porn and alchol.  
>don't mix me and my mom.<br>Oh, and don't mix Jaegermeister and diet coke. **

** DEAN PoV **

I'd seen all the scars and bruises on Sam, and my heart had stopped. Whip marks coated his hips, chest and back, hand-shaped bruises on his ribs and sides, always too big or small to be Castiel, not that he'd do that anyway, not to Sam. The crescent-scars on his biceps where whores had dug their nails into the flesh, the love-bites on his collarbones.  
>I'd had to look away when he opened those empty eyes, looking up at me, deceit clear in his gaze.<br>'I can't see...' He whispered, and his eyes flashed black, and stayed that way.  
>Castiel pressed two fingers to Sam's head, and his eyes went back green. 'Better?' Sam shook his head, eyes staring blankly.<br>'Will I see again?' Sam asked, head lowering as a few tears leaked out.  
>'I don't know...' Cas admitted, pulling Sam into a hug. 'Maybe. Give it time. It might be one of her tricks.'<br>Sam nodded. 'I'm sorry,' He whispered. 'Meg told me things...'  
>'It's fine.' Cas shushed him, and I glanced at Gabriel, who shrugged. Neither of us had the slightest idea what was going on. (<strong>AN. I am veryyy drunk! Hehe... Thank god for autocorrect. **)  
>'Come on, let's get you home...' Castiel touched two fingers to Sam's forehead, and my brother vanished.<br>'Aww... It makes me feel constipated!' I whined, then, as Cas raised an eyebrow, I realized what I said. I barely had time to bite my lip before I was in Bobby's study/living room, Gabriel and Castiel beside me, Sam lay on the sofa, despite still being naked, sobbing for his lost sight. From here, I, along with the others, could easily see the vivid red lines my brother's body wore, scars for his suffering trying to earn a living for us. Bobby hadn't commented, and was just sat there looking on pityingly. Cas, being the only seemingly thoughtful one upon us, took off his battered, tan trench coat and lay it over my brother, shielding him from our eyes, hiding away his beaten body.

** SAM PoV **

They all saw me naked, they all saw my scars, and they all saw me at my lowest point.  
>But I saw Nothing.<br>I felt Castiel pick me up, and I reached up to stroke his face, frowning when I almost stuck my finger up his nose.  
>A hand held mine, as I was carried upstairs and placed between warm sheets, Cas crawling in beside me. There was a second of silence, and then I felt him smile against my throat.<br>'The lights are out. We're even. And in case you can't see, I just drew a air-heart for you.' I turned a little, kissing his hair in the dark.  
>'I'm sorry. I was unfaithful..'<br>'You made a mistake.' He answered. 'I've made plenty.'  
>'I want you...' I whispered, whining a little as I turned in his arms. His hands skirted my back, pulling his hips into mine to brush my already-hard cock with his own.<br>I felt him roll onto his hands and knees, spreading his legs and putting his chest on the floor. Reaching out tentatively, I found him, knelt up, and trust inside him easily.  
>'Fuck...' I groaned as he tightened a little around me. 'Fuck, Cassie, tell me how you want it...'<br>'I want it hard,' He growled a little. 'I want you dominant.'  
>I leant down a little, biting his shoulder as I thrust harder. 'Fucking hell, baby you are so fucking tight...'<br>Cas whimpered. 'Do you like my dirty talk?' I whispered, feeling my thrusts getting more erratic. 'Do you like me going Dom on you, big fella?'  
>He moaned loud as I came in him, then started to chuckle as I pulled out.<br>'Gabriel heard us. Dean is now awake and... Ready to go.' I rolled my broken eyes at that, settling into my beautiful angel as his comforting wings wrapped around me.

** BOBBY PoV **

I knocked on Dean's door in the morning to tell the idjit boy to get his lazy ass up, but no-one answered, so I pushed the door open slowly.  
>Gabriel was lay atop the sheets, wearing some form of tight pink suit that clearly showed how his dreams were, so I looked away, at Dean.<p>

The door was closed before I even had chance to register what I saw. 


	18. Chapter 18

** Hehe... I like RubinAmigo's idea... But no. Sorry. Wait and see... Next chapter. :) **  
>What's Dean's answer gonna be?<br>THIS WILL BE MY LAST UPDATE FOR A FEW DAYS. But I will write. So expect lots of updates. And I expect lots of reviews. ;)  
>And I wrote y'all SEVEN chapters yesterday! (I think... Somethin like that. (: ) y'all owe me. -.-<br>Loves. And enjoy  
>P.S. This is the best cliffhanger ever! You may hate me now... Have fun waiting for the update that won't come until Sunday! :) tehee :) <p>I groaned as I opened my eyes, which faded into a small whimper. Castiel had his arms around me instantly, sitting us up and pulling me onto his lap.<br>'We'll fix this.' He promised, kissing my forehead, and smoothing down my hair. I shrugged a little, then scrambled, with what I presumed to be an utter lack of grace, to my feet. 'What are you doing?' Cas sighed, as I walked slowly towards the drawers were my clothes were.  
>'Well,' I answered thoughtfully. 'If I'm gonna be like this for at least a short while, I need to learn to live with it.'<br>I heard Cas get up and cross the room to be beside me. 'Can't we just get you a dog? Or I could help you? Because like this you're going to walk into a doorframe.'  
>'And then I'll learn,' I answered stubbornly, 'Thato there's a doorframe there.'<br>Cas sighed, and I grinned as my fingers brushed wood. Opening the drawer, I pulled put what felt like exactly what I wanted- my black jeans.  
>'This is the only bit I need help with,' I murmured. 'What colour are these?'<br>'Black.' He answered, sounding reluctant. I nodded, smiling.  
>Using my hands to search again, I pulled out a shirt, and held it up.<br>'Red.' He answered before I asked.  
>'Thank you.' I replied, smiling a little.<br>'No problem.' He murmured. I held onto the drawers as I felt for the button at the front of my jeans, then pulled them on, touching a hand to my fly to make sure it was in the right place. I rolled the shirt on, touching the label on the inside of the collar so I knew it wasn't inside out. After I buttoned it up, I smiled in Cas's general direction.  
>'How do I look?' I asked. I heard Cas chuckle, then rebutton my shirt.<br>'You missed a button.' He explained, and I frowned.  
>'Dammit.'<br>Cas kissed me quickly, then took my hand as we began to walk.

** CASTIEL PoV **

Sam scowled as he slipped on the stairs, pounting but thanking me when I caught him. He was adapting rather quickly, and watched now as he carefully tapped his foot forward to find the step's edge, getting a little faster each time.  
>'You're doing brilliantly.' I assured him. It broke my heart a little to see him like this, so vulnerable, and I wished there was something I could do. But he was under demon magic, and I had no idea when, if ever, the effects would wear off.<br>I hoped so.  
>He ate slowly, only having one incident where he knocked over a glass, and Dean watched from the opposite side of the room with sadness and guilt radiating from him.<br>'I'll be right back.' I assured Sam. He nodded, swallowing a mouthful of bacon. Crossing the room to Dean, I sat beside my lover's brother, frowning at him, confused.  
>'Why do you feel guilt?' I asked quietly, eventy, after a moment or so of watching him, and him watching back.<br>'I...' He hesitated, glanced at his brother, and then sighed. 'I didn't look after him. Back at home, and here. And I didn't tell him the truth, about anything. He hasn't said a word to me since Meg possessed him, Cas. He hates me. And all those scars and bruises, from the bastards who dared touch him... If I knew who they where, I swear I would hunt down and kill Every. Single. One.' His voice had lowered to a poisonous growl, jaw clenched.  
>'Myself included? If I'd just... Discarded him, like those others?' Dean hesitated, then nodded savagely.<br>'Cas, I don't do Chick Flick moments, so listen up, okay? I like you. You're nice to him, you look after him. And I freakin' love your brother.' He chuckled uncertainly, then a wave of something that seemed to be anxiety washed over him as he realized he'd just admitted Gabriel. 'I'm... Fine, with you and him. Despite the fact that you look, well, about twelve years older? But you won't change, Gabriel either, and I just... I need your word that when Sam gets older, and I mean _really_ older, you won't leave him. 'coz I won't always be around to protect him... And I think he really loves you. And I just want you to tell me that even when he looks like a Grandfather, you won't be unfaithful to him, and you'll look after him when I'm... Well, gone.' I felt more sadness wash over Dean, and I had an acute feeling that we were not discussing the distant future.  
>'Dean... Is there something... That you wish to tell me?' <p>


	19. Chapter 19

** This is Friday night. Beginning at 20:41. Just so's you know. I'm happy I can write chilled over this weekend, and I have no evil people stopping me eating ice-cream. Ergo, I just had neapolitan with strawberry sauce and sprinkles. WickedLittleLies. Hahahahahaha I ate ice-cream! :D  
>Can anyone guess what it is?<br>^You'll understand, no worries. unless you're dim. Or, (RubinAmigo) lack of sleeped. :)  
>Talk of the devil, read RubinAmigo's stories. I beta'd a few myself. So they're obviously awesome. Very humorous, I loled for hours. Combats the slight sadness of this story.<br>BUT IT GETS BETTER.  
>My apologies for the long an. Hehee. I'm still drunk. Don't put vodka on ice-cream. **

** DEAN PoV. **

'Dean... Is there anything... That you wish to tell me?' Castiel's crystal, pristine gaze fixed me with the most inquisitive stare. I realized my slip-up, and cursed internally. I hated deceiving everyone, but I really didn't have a choice.  
>'I'm fine, Cas.' I smiled reassuringly, and something flicked in his eyes, something that told me he knew I was lying.<br>'Don't lie to me, Dean. I could just look inside your mind, but I'd rather not have to do that, it's an invasion of your privacy and personal space.' My heart faltered, and my breathing hitched. Glancing across the room, at my baby brother, who depended on me, looked up to me... I bit my lip. Now was not the time to cry. Not yet.  
>Although Bobby had been in my room last night, and I think he saw me cry... But the speed he left the room made me realize that the way I'd buried my face in the pillow had made him think I was jacking off.<br>I preferred it that way. I'm Dean Winchester, best hunter in the world and the next Batman. I don't cry.  
>I didn't know how long I had. Hell, I didn't even know what I had. Just that my heart kept racing, suddenly, and whenever Gabriel heard it or felt it he gave me a look that radiated concern. I'd looked it up - actually done some <em>research<em>- and I thought I knew what it was... But there was know way I was letting Castiel know that. If I said that I wasn't sure, he couldn't call me a liar. I wasn't sure... Not completely, anyway.

After assuring Sam that he'd be back shortly, Castiel led me out the front, where we sat on the backseat of half a Mustang.  
>'So do you plan to tell me the truth?' Castiel asked after a moment. I fiddled with the holey upholstery, biting my lip again.<br>'You... I can trust you, right? You won't say anything?'  
>'Of course not. I shall keep my word, on my life. If you don't want me to mention what is exchanged between us, I shan't.' His intensive gaze was scaring me a little, and I groaned internally as my head started to hammer uncontrollably. Resting my head back against the seat, my breathing became ragged and my vision wavered a little as my body struggled to get enough oxygen around my body.<br>It had been getting worse... But this was an all time low.  
>'I... I don't...' I groaned a little as my head pounded, then everything faded to black. <p>


	20. Chapter 20

** 21:56. Still Friday. Hm... Who was it? (it'll make sense.) **

** CASTIEL PoV **

I must admit, despite being an Angel of the Lord with a blind hunter for a lover, and a sex-obsessed _plebes_ for a brother, Dean passing out onto me startled me a little. I toyed momentarily with the idea of waking him angelically, but decided against it- there was a chance it would do more harm than good. My fears were calmed slightly a minute later, when Dean's eyes fluttered open, his heartbeat slowed, and he sat up quickly.  
>'Shit, sorry, I-'<br>'It was hardly your fault, Dean.' I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and he glanced at me.  
>'I think I'm having heart failure. More specifically, I think I'm going to die.' He breathed, face crumpling a little. I felt my own breathing spike a little as the impervious Dean Winchester allowed a single tear to roll down his cheek, and I could tell he was terrified, not for himself, but for the brother he'd be leaving behind.<br>'Dean... There are ways to-'  
>'No.' He interrupted gently. 'I want...' He swallowed a little, hardened his features and stared at me. 'I want to die with dignity. I want to die as a hunter. When I know it's near... The end, I'll find a way to...' He trailed off for a moment before recovering. 'Ill find a way to die that lets me keep my pride, a worthwhile and beautiful death. Worthwhile and beautiful... The opposite of my life, huh?' He chuckled dryly, and my resilience snapped, and I pulled him into my arms, squeezing him a little.<br>'I respect your wishes.' I breathed. 'But if I find a way to fix this, no strings, will you let me? If not for yourself, then for Sam? And Gabriel?' He hesitated, then nodded slowly.  
>'For Sammy. And... For Gabriel. If he'll still want me when I look like his dad. His <em>grand-dad<em>.' He agreed quietly.

** UNKNOWN PoV. **

My fingers scraped the metal side of a truck as I clenched my eyes and jaw shut in an effort not to cry- or scream, whichever came first.  
><strong> (AN. It's 1:06 sunday morning. In an unexpected turn of events, I spent Saturday getting ready for a party... And now I am very very very drunk. Hehe. Claire is cool, and she thought I was late 20s/Mid 30's... Tehee. I'm fourteen hun. Lololl. Sorry. I had to explain why there won't be as many chapters as I thought. Wrenchyy out!(: )**  
>Turning away from where Dean and Castiel were now whispering about something more casual than impending doom, I stumbled across the scrapyard, tears rolling down my cheeks. I slammed into someone, and he wrapped his arms around me tentatively.<br>'What is it?'He asked nervously. I bit my lip, then raised my head a little.  
>'It's Dean. He's dying.' <p>


	21. Chapter 21

** 1:15am. Sunday.  
>Love me.<br>09:39am Sunday. Shut up, I fell asleep. Love me anyway.  
>What's Gabriel gonna do? <strong>

I sobbed a little into Sam as he held me awkwardly, patting my back. He looked dazed, and felt instantly bad for telling him. He shouldn't have to deal with this right now. Not with everything else too.  
>But Dean was just so <em>stupid<em>! How could he think I would ever stop loving him?  
>It took me a few seconds to realize that he'd think that because I've never told him, or shown him.<br>Deciding his life was more important than our love, I sat down on the bottom stair as a plan began to form in my head. It was risky, and extremely dangerous for me, and extremely painful too.  
>But it was worth it.<p>

** SAM PoV **

I felt my way shakily up the stairs as I heard Gabriel sit down on them. When I reached my room, I fell forward down onto the bed, lying for a second before understanding washed over me suddenly and I began to sob into the silk sheets.  
>There was a hand on me instantly, pulling me up into strong, reassuring arms.<br>'Cas...'  
>'No. Dean.' He shifted a little, cradling me against his chest. A memory flashed before me, held in the arms of a young boy as he ran from a fiery inferno that was engulfing a building...<br>His hold was comforting, and I tightened my fingers in his shirt. 'What's up, Sammy? Whatever it is, we can sort it, promise.'  
>I bit my lip, and clenched my jaw a little to help me stop crying. 'I know... About you... D-dying.'<br>He froze, and his heart began to get faster- not a panicked kind of faster, but _faster_. I heard the practically-constant thrumming just as his arms slacked around me, and I felt him fall to the mattress.  
>'Gabriel!' I yelled frantically, feeling useless. He was beside me in an instant, doing... Something. I could hear him saying something, but the noises wouldn't form words.<br>There was a hand on me, and someone patting my hair. 'Don't cry. I'm fine.' Dean was rocking me a little, and I pulled him tight into me, wrapping my fingers in his shirt.  
>My breathing hitched, and I heard Gabriel murmur something. Dean shifted a little, then chuckled. 'Dude. No chick flick moments.'<br>I laughed weakly, realizing that this would be how it was. We ignore it. Like everything else that was bad in our family...  
><em> 'Take Sam and run! Now Dean, go!' There was a face, younger and more rugged than I remember, shouting, fire blazing behind him. There was a jolting, everything blurring around me, then stillness, and a young boy's face gazing down at me.<br>'It's okay, Sam.' He whispered, tears shining in his eyes... _

** DEAN PoV **

My head was pounding, but I didn't care. There was something wrong with Sam. His face was blank, his non-seeing eyes more distant than usual. I frowned, glancing at Cas, who had followed me into the room before. He shrugged, and I motioned for him to read Sam's mind. Castiel shook his head, mouthing that whatever was in Sam's head was private and he would never invade unless completely necessary. Sam's concentration snapped, and he shook his head a little, looking concerned, confused even. I figured that because he couldn't see, he didn't contemplate his facial expressions much, because it was so easy to tell how he felt nowadays- his face was like an open book.  
>'Sam?' I murmured. 'What's up?'<br>'I keep remembering...' He whispered, blind eyes fearful. 'The fire.'  
>My mouth moved wordlessly, and Castiel watched me carefully. 'I'm not going to spontaneously combust, so stop looking at me!' I snapped, then softened a little as I glanced at Sam. 'Are you okay?'<br>'Yeah...' He nodded, then hiccuped and laughed weakly. I chuckled gently.  
>'I remember when you were little... You always used to get hiccups when you cried.' I smiled, closing my eyes as I remembered that perfect little boy I'd raised for so many years... Sam was more than my brother, he was like my son too. I saw the cute little baby with a small pink maw of mouth, wide open and crying, which always stopped when I held him.<br>It was quiet, and I, peaceful in my thoughts, didn't notice Gabriel watching me. If I had, I would've seen his resilience harden as I watched my brother, and I would've seen him vanish, with the most determined look I'd have encountered. 


	22. Chapter 22

** 11:55am. Still Sunday. Love me, I'm hungover.  
>What's Gabriel up to? <strong>

** GABRIEL PoV **

I stalked defiantly through the halls of heaven, my prize concealed in the back of Dean's jeans in a very Dean-like manner.  
>I'd been spending way too much time with my favorite hunter.<br>I passed a cluster of Angels, who glanced at me fearfully, eyeing the Angel's swords in my hands and the battered leather jacket, which radiated the feel of it's owner.  
>I like wearing Dean's clothes, okay?<br>Although I think that the bright pink wings radiating from me kind of killed the manliness... As did Dean's pink boxers.  
>Who knew he had a secret, delightfully queer side?<br>I knew what I would be sacrificing to do this... My rights to be in heaven, half of my grace, possibly my wings... Maybe my life, if I wasn't perfectly accurate.  
>But Dean had so much more to live for.<br>And if this worked...

When I was a safe distance away- and heard angels following me- I stopped, took a breath and a second to recollect my thoughts.  
>Dean jumped a little when I appeared behind him, then frowned.<br>'You're wearing my jacket.' He noted. 'And my jeans.'  
>'And your boxers, but we can discuss that later.' I smirked, then sat down on the bed beside him with a small sigh. 'I've found a way to make you better.'<br>Dean's face went blank. 'Aw, no, Gabriel, I can't-'  
>'You said I, or rather Castiel, could make you better, if there's no strings. And there isn't.' I lied easily, a lifetime of being a trickster giving me more than enough experience to lie fluently.<br>Dean looked nervous, but the hope flickered in his eyes, with something close to fear.  
>'What...?' He asked.<br>'Just a spell.' I told him easily.  
>'Oh.' He shrugged. 'No strings?'<br>'None. And it'll help Sam too.' I added. This was even more risky for me because Sam was involved, but Dean wouldn't live on after Sam died.  
>At that, Dean smiled. 'Let's do it!'<br>'I need to prepare. If you'd just...' I motioned towards the door. 'I'm going to use the kitchen table. Wait here, I'll call you.' I appeared downstairs, locked every entrance to the kitchen and drew an Enochian sigil on all the doors; if Castiel knew I was doing this, he'd do everything he could to stop me. Spreading out the old sheet of parchment on the table, I quickly and efficiently prepared the powder, then daubed it on my body in the sign of the cross, before picking up a bronze dagger and thrusting it into my chest. 


	23. Chapter 23

** 12:56. Sunday. IM SKIPPING ICE CREAM FOR THIS.  
>Will Sam's soul accept?<strong>

I bit down on a rag to stop myself from screaming. Withdrawing the dagger, I trembled, glancing at the blue-grey substance clinging to it. This was half of my grace. I'd been accurate, perhaps accurate enough. Scraping it out into a bowl as my chest began to heal instantly- my grace was still powerful enough to keep me angelic.  
>I winced, pulled my shirt back on, and snapped my fingers. Dean appeared beside me, shaking his head as he stumbled.<br>He glanced at the doors, then raised a curious eyebrow. 'We can't be interrupted.' I explained. I began to chant in Latin over the bowl, before tipping it into a glass. If my Grace declined Dean's soul, I'd die. Likewise, if Dean's soul declined my Grace, I'd die. That's why it was twice as risky involving Sam. But there was no going back. Having my Grace so exposed was making me feel weaker already.  
>'Drink up.' I rasped, resisting the urge to flinch.<br>'What is it?'  
>'Juice.' He shot me a look, wrapped a hand around the glass and downed it. His eyes glowed a little, body radiating a light blue light. I caught his shudder, and felt myself grow a little stronger as his soul and my Grace were bound together. He flexed his fingers, and I could distantly feel the motion deep in my chest. It was an unusual, albeit beautiful sensation, and I reveled in the new connection, and the ability to feel every inch of his being. As soul and Grace wound closer together, I found myself able to see into his head when I wanted, and make myself more or less sensitive to his movement and emotions.<br>Dean's knees buckled a little as he stopped glowing, and I put a hand under his elbow to steady him. The contact was electric, making both of us eye the other nervously.  
>'... That wasn't normal juice.'<br>'... Does angel juice count as "normal"?'  
>Dean hesitated for a moment as he really thought about what I'd just said, then realization washed over him, strong enough to hit me even though I'd distanced the connection. 'I... You...'<br>I shushed him, snapping my fingers. He was replaced with Sam, and the younger Winchester opened his mouth to scream in a reflex reaction. I snapped my fingers again, muting the cry before it could leave his lips. 'Sam. It's Gabriel. I'm going to help you see.' Sam paused, then nodded slightly. I lifted his restriction, and he rattled out a shaky breath.  
>'How?'<br>I poured the remainder of my bowl of Grace into another glass, and pressed it into his hands. 'Drink.' The glass went to his lips, and the second the last drop vanished down his throat, my core began to burn and I bent double, clutching the table for support. My Grace was attempting to bind to Sam's soul, but all the demon blood in him, and all his bad memories, were trying to taint my Grace. A scream burst from my lips as my wings burst out, feeling like they were on fire, and my fingers tightened on the wood of the table as my knees buckled and I began to fall to the floor. 


	24. Chapter 24

** hmhmhms... 17:13. About to eat lasagne. I TURNED DOWN PIE. I'm so ashamed... But I hadit Friday night and then A LOT of it yesterday evening... Hehehe. Pie.  
>Yes, I am still drunk, okay? Ehe.<br>Will Gabriel tell?  
>THIS CHAPT GOES OUT TO RUBINAMINGO! Hehe... You know what I mean. ;) <strong>

I whimpered a little as whatever Gabriel had told me to drink burned my chest. I had trusted him blindly -no pun intended-, but now I realized that it could be a demon impersonating Gabriel's voice. But when I heard a pained scream, my eyes, which had been screwed shut as pain overwhelmed me, opened and I saw G-  
>I blinked experimentally, and sure enough, I could still see Gabriel writhing on the floor, wings beating frantically as he yelled.<br>Snapping out of my relieved daze, I bent down beside him as his screams died down to low, suffering sobs and he just twitched occasionally, heartbeat getting quieter.  
>'No! Don't you <em>dare<em>, Gabriel, not now! Cas needs you. Dean needs you! Hell, _I_ need you! Your crazy oompa-loompa ways make us all seem beautifully sane! Don't die Gabriel...You can't leave us.' I held him close to me, a single tear landing on his forehead. Then, almost like a fairytale cliché, his heartbeat began to get faster.

** GABRIEL PoV **

That single, chaste tear falling from the eye of -the tiger, hehe-, the eye of Samuel Winchester, was enough to tip the scales on his soul, from dark to innocent. My Grace clung to the battered thing inside him, restoring it, and it showed in him. He began to glow blue, and I could feel his movements, like Dean's. I let my head rest back on the kitchen floor, thankful that this young boy was so compassionate.  
>'Ugh.' I grunted as I staggered ungracefully to my feet.<br>'I drank... Your Grace?' Sam asked quietly. 'Why yours? Why not-'  
>'Because it is the most painful and terrible sacrifice an angel can make.' I whispered, missing Heaven already, missing the brothers who would now be hunting me for sharing my Grace with not one, but two humans.<br>'... I don't understand...' Sam frowned. 'Why'd you do it? I could've got by...'  
>'You would've aged. Died, eventually. Now you won't. You're as resilient as the angel you love.' He must've picked up on something in my tone, because his breathing hitched and I felt his muscles tighten minutely as he began to panic.<br>'And you?'  
>'I don't know yet. I still have my wings, that's a good sign. And-' I appeared across the room. 'My powers are functioning fully. But when you and Dean are both in my presence I will be a little bit moody, or happy, or sad, if the two of you are. I pick up on your emotions, movements, thoughts, health... Everything. And before you ask, Dean is fine. And he will never die under my watch.'<br>Sam was overwhelmed by the information that I had split my Grace not just once, but twice. I went over and rubbed the sigils of the doors, unlocking them.  
>'Sam!' Dean burst through the study door the second I unlocked it, and pulled his brother into a hug. 'Jesus, are you-'<br>'I appreciate your concern, but don't blaspheme.' Sam murmured. He'd been spending too much time with Castiel, for sure. 'Gabriel... We owe him, so mu-' Sam's face blanked, and it took all of my self-restraint not to delve into his head. Dean clearly didn't have the same connection to his brother as I did, because he was watching Sam with curiosity close to anxiety. I felt shock and fear wash over me as it did to Sam, and his eyes rolled back, his knees buckled and he fell to the floor as he started to spasm. 


	25. Chapter 25

** Heheeh. My question is easy. HOW CUTE IS GABRIEL? :) Aawwwww.  
>I'm sorry for the shortness of the previous chapters?<br>Admire my comma useage... Hehe :)  
><strong>

I felt myself fall to the floor, felt hands on me, felt my body shudder. But a face was flashing before my vision, piercing yellow eyes, and a sour taste in my mouth. As I became still, my normal sight returned and I gazed up at Dean who was crouched over me, Cas by my side and Gabriel hovering in the background. I shook off their concerns, claiming I was dehydrated. Castiel saw through the lie easily, but obediently dropped the matter and fetched me some water.  
>'Dean...' Gabriel smiled at my brother, trying to distract him. 'Could you... Bobby, Sam, Cas, is it okay if we have the house to ourselves for a few hours?' I smiled in agreement, Cas nodded, but Bobby looked doubtful. Gabriel used the infamous puppy-eyes, and Bobby melted visibly.<br>'Fine!' He sighed, and Gabriel grinned.  
>'Thank you, Bobby.' He answered with unusual politeness.<p>

** GABRIEL PoV **  
>'Night guys, and thanks again.' I hugged my brother as he left, hugged Sam too, and tried to hug Bobby, as he tried to shake my hand.<br>Awkward... For everyone else. I just laughed. 'Sorry, Bobby, I don't go for older men.'  
>Dean chuckled tersely, smiling briefly at his brother.<p>

I grinned at my handiwork, nodding a little before walking into the study, closing the kitchen doors behind me. I sighed, wrapping my arms around my beautiful Dean. He hugged me back, feeling a little confused.  
>'Close your eyes.' I whispered, taking his hand. He did so obediently, trusting me, albeit a little nervously. I lead him into the kitchen, closing the doors behind us and smiling before standing him by the kitchen table. Straightening my shirt a little nervously, I bit my lip.<br>'Um... Open them.'

** DEAN PoV **

I opened my eyes, and felt my hardened persona melt at the sight of Gabriel. His hair was flopped a little, a small smile on his face, spinning a white rose between his fingers.  
>Now I understood why he told me to dress nicely.<br>I stepped forward, running a tender hand across his cheek before catching his lips with mine in a chaste kiss. 'What's all this?' I whispered, smiling.  
>'I just thought we both deserved a break.' He murmured, then nodded toward the table. 'Sit.'<br>'You cooked?' I asked, sitting down obediently. He tucked me in under the table a little, and kissed my cheek before lifting the lid on the silver dish on the table, and I laughed. 'Seems good to me.' I answered, eyeing the small pile of cheeseburgers.  
>'Help yourself.' I took a cheeseburger and bit into it, groaning.<br>'Gabriel...' I moaned, swallowing. 'This is fantastic.'  
>'Thanks.' He answered, gazing at me as the candlelight flickered beautifully in his eyes. He poured us both champagne, clinking his glass with mine.<br>'To us. Forever.' He whispered, smiling dazzlingly. I smiled back, and took a sip.

** GABRIEL PoV **

I swallowed my champagne slowly, watching Dean's movements, feeling them inside me.  
>We ate in peace, and after a while, I clicked my fingers, and soft classical echoed from the stereo quietly.<br>'This... Is perfect.' He murmured when we'd finished.  
>I smiled, clearing away the plates. 'I'm glad you liked it. There's more.' He raised an eyebrow, and grinned.<br>'More?' I nodded, taking his hand and the champagne, leading him from the room.

We reached our room, and I opened the door slowly, then told him he could look. His eyes opened slowly, and he smiled.  
>'You...' He ran a hand gently across the midnight blue silk, fingering the rosepetals carefully. 'You did this... For us?'<br>I nodded, carefully taking the white rose from his fingers and placing it on the bedside table. My hands slid gently under his suit jacket, sliding it off over his shoulders and fingering his braces.  
>'I want to make love to you.' I whispered, slipping the braces off, leaving them hanging by his sides.<br>He nodded, kissing me gently as he pushed off my own black jacket.

Feeling how his mind exploded as I thrust slowly, carefully in him, was enough to make me go crazy. When I entwined my fingers in his hair, hearing him whimper a little beneath me as I thrust erratically.  
>'Can I come inside your pretty ass?' I whispered, feeling the comforting silk slide over my back.<br>Dean nodded, whimpering and squirming as I thrust once more, exploding inside him while he came on the silk, my fingers stroking his back gently.  
>When I pulled out of him, laying beside him with my arms around his trembling body as he sighed.<br>'Thank you for tonight...' He whispered. 'It was perfect. But what brought all this on?' He asked, running a hand over my thigh.  
>'I just wanted to show you... H-how much I-I love you.' I kissed his throat, and he hummed a little. 'Dean. I love you.'<br>He arched his neck a little to glance at me. 'Really?'  
>'More than anything.' I replied.<br>Dean smile sweetly, kissing me gently. 'I love you, too.' 


	26. Chapter 26

** Aww. My Gabey (*loves*).  
>So... Only a few chapters left!<br>hard one! What's gonna happen at the pool? IN the pool, rather. ^_^ **

We lay in bed long into the day, just laying together. Dean was unusually gentle and calm, content with just lying still and chatting. It wasn't until one in the afternoon when we decided it was time to get up.  
>'You're hungry.' I noted, feeling his stomach growl, both through our connection and against my hip.<br>Dean chuckled dryly, shifting a little closer into my chest. 'So... Why were you wearing my clothes yesterday?'  
>'I wanted a little piece of you with me on my last trip to heaven.' I admitted quietly, smiling a little.<br>'You'll always have my heart.' He answered, smiling back. I felt his complete happiness and serenity, and grinned to myself. He was finally peaceful.  
>'And you mine.' I replied. 'No matter what.'<br>'Gabriel... I love you.'  
>'I love you too, babe. Now where are those pink boxers?'<p>

Dean's hand was down the back of my jeans. His hand was down the back of jeans. His hand was molesting my ass. His _fingers_ were-  
>'Less of it!' Bobby snapped, serving us both bacon sandwiches. Dean withdrew his hand slowly, stroking his palm across my skin gently.<br>'Guess I can't help myself.' Dean chuckled, dragging me off my chair and onto his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder as he ate, sighing contentedly, feeling his arms around me.  
>'Awwwww!' Sam walked into the room, looking happy. 'Believe it or not, I missed seeing you two! You're so cute!'<br>If Sam had been referring to me with anyone that wasn't Dean, I would've scowled at being called 'cute'.  
>As it was, 'cute' for me and Dean was just that. I felt so happy, Dean's happiness and Sam's, too, making me almost want to cry in joy.<br>Cas walked in, shot me a disapproving look at the Grace he sensed on the brothers, and pulled Sam a little closer. I rolled my eyes minutely. I was fine, I had my wings and my powers, and I hadn't been to heaven in... However long anyway, so that was irrelevant.  
>'Did you two enjoy your evening?' Castiel asked. Dean blushed a little, and I kissed him gently at such an adorable motion.<br>'We had a perfect evening.' I replied, smiling.  
>'We're hitting the pool later, if you guys wanna come?' Sam enquired. I swallowed a little, and glanced up at Dean. It had been dark, he wouldn't have seen the marks I bore from tearing out my Grace yet. But I wasn't concerned about that.<br>Could I keep my hands-and tongue, and teeth, and cock...- of his shirtless, wet self...?  
>I bit his jugular gently, and he shuddered a little. 'If we go, will you behave yourself?' Dean asked, cradling me a little in his arms so I was closer against his chest.<br>'I can't make any promises...' I murmured, resting my face against his shirt.  
>'I wouldn't have believed you if you did.' He laughed, placing a tender kiss to my forehead.<p>

** SAM PoV **  
>They were so <em>adorable<em>! I'd never seen Dean be gentle, apart from with me, but this was more than caution, it was genuine compassion.  
>We were going to the pool to just spend time together- Dean and I hadn't really spent a few hours together just being us since before I met Castiel.<br>Dean was clearly on my wavelength. 'Hey Sam, d'you wanna work on the Impala with me this weekend?'  
>I grinned, shutting Bobby's front door behind the four of us. 'Sure. She could use a clean. And a wax. And a fix.'<br>Dean scowled at me. 'Don't knock my baby, or I won't let you drive.'  
>I smiled, pausing at the driver's side. 'You're gonna let me drive?' Dean nodded, and I beamed, sliding into the driver's seat. I heard a small scuffle, but my eyes were closed.<br>'Get damn shotgun!' Dean grunted, shoving my angel into the front of the car. I smiled at Castiel, who looked potentially terrified by the thought of my driving.  
>Dean got into the back, with his angel lay beside him. 'Look, if Dean and Gabriel can trust me enough to not wear seatbelts- though that's unfair, they wouldn't wear seatbelts if Ash was driving... Okay. Dean's letting me drive his damn <em>baby<em>. He taught me to drive. I think he kinda trusts me if I'm driving the Impala.' Castiel nodded a little, settling more into his seat. I shook my head, laughing as I started the car and pulled out of the scrapyard.  
>The stereo came on of it's own accord, and I smiled at the song that was on the radio when I'd switched off Dean's infernal cassette.<br>'It's our song.' I whispered, gazing at Castiel. He smiled back. Every night while I drifted into sleep, he hummed it. He had that night when he payed me to stay with him. And I would never forget that tune... Which seemed only more impossibly beautiful when he sang.  
>'<em>And you can tell everybody, that this is your song. It may be quite simple, but, now that it's done...<em>' I listened to Castiel's soft crooning as I pulled into the pool's car park. One of my hands caressed his leg, then I stopped the engine and tossed Dean the Impala's keys.  
>'Come on, boys! Or are you gonna just sit there and gaze at each other? Coz Sam loves you way too much Cassie. Ergo, I feel a little sick.' Gabriel's grinning face was between the seats, smiling at us.<p>

** DEAN PoV **  
>I watched my manic lover stand at a vending machine, waiting impatiently for his chocolate.<br>'No wonder you're so hyper.' I murmured in his ear, wrapping my arms around his surprisingly slender waist from behind.  
>He cocked his head, and my hands hovered on his ass as he bent over delightfully in front of me to retrieve his candy.<br>'Look at that! Disgusting... He's way too good looking o be gay. And with someone as... Ugh. It makes me sick.' Gabriel straightened up, growling a little. I shushed him with a kiss to the throat, but even my whispered endearments couldn't drown out what we heard next. 'Dirty whore. Practically begging for it in public.'  
>I turned around slowly, glaring a little at one of the two teenage girls, the taller one, watching me from her place in the queue. Turning back to Gabriel, I rubbed a hand in the back of his shaggy hair fondly to calm him down. 'Fuckin' slut. Look at him, he looks depressed. Probably a cutter or something. The fit guys clearly only with him 'coz he feels sorry for him.'<br>I'd heard enough. I whirled around, glaring at the girl with malice, resisting- with difficulty- the urge to hit her. Don't hit kids. Do _not_ hit kids. Don't hit...  
>'Come on!' Sam was motioning for us to follow him, clearly having paid for all of us already.<br>I brindled visibly as I passed that little bitch, but I heard her words as I rounded the corner.  
>'Desperate slut.' <p>


	27. Chapter 27

** Tehee... If I could be bothered to name my chapters, it'd be called 'Fuck the bitches -.-'  
>um... What's Dean gonna do about it?<strong>

** GABRIEL PoV **  
>I'd heard her, of course, and by the waves of fury that Dean practically sweated, I knew he had too. I heard his loud chanting. Don't hit kids...<br>Did that apply to both of us?  
>I dragged Dean by the hand into a cubicle, resisting, albeit with difficulty, to stroke him hard and make him moan, as I pulled down his boxers. He undressed me, too, hands sliding over my skin gently. My eyes flickered a little, and I giggled.<br>'Not here!' I whispered, kissing his hair as he murmured dirty things in my ear.  
>He pulled on his trunks as I pulled on mine, and he rolled his eyes.<br>'Only you.'

We stood in the shower, Dean dragging his hands carefully through my shaggy hair, skirting down my shoulders and down my chest. I giggled a little, and stopped him from going any lower.  
>Sam poked his head into the showers, and raised an eyebrow at me. 'Only you.'<br>'Why does everyone keep saying that?' I snapped. At that moment, Castiel poked his head around the corner, too, and shook his head.  
>'Only you.' He laughed. I scowled, and Dean kissed my nose.<br>'Only you... Because you're unique. You're my unique, hyperactive, gorgeous, pink swim-trunk wearing, angelic horndog of a boyfriend, and I love you.' I felt his nervousness at using the term 'boyfriend'- it made him seem so, well, _gay_, he thought- and decided to boost his confidence a little.  
>'And you, <em>plebes<em>, are my beautiful, cheeseburger-obsessed, Impala-loving, beer-drinking, half-angelic, inspirational, kink-machine of a boyfriend.' I replied. 'And I love you.'  
>'Aww... And did you just call him a little people in Latin? Anyway, moving on...' Sam raised an eyebrow, motioning us out of the jet of water that had gone cold without my noticing.<p>

If Dean spotted the massive fucktard of a scar on my chest,- and to be honest, he'd have to be as blind as Sam had been to miss it- he didn't say anything. Sam, however, had glanced at it, and felt guilty immediately. I hovered by the edge of the changing rooms, then allowed Dean to drag me by the hand onto the pool's edge. I wasn't one for being shy, but I felt supremely self-conscious now, especially knowing that those little bitches were somewhere. And knowing that I looked so ordinary next to Dean.  
>He saw my expression, then smiled and took my hand reassuringly. 'Look at me, right at me.' He whispered. 'Forget them. It's just us.' I got lost in his perfect green eyes, and for a moment, despite the noise, it really did feel like just us.<br>'Come on.' He grinned, and tugged me a little closer to the edge before diving in with practiced skill. I dove in after him, albeit a little less professionally, and he smiled at me as I surfaced, pulling me closer to him by the waistband of my luminescent pink trunks.  
>'Oh look... It's them again. Watch me squash this shit.' I heard a semi-familiar voice, and allowed a small growl to slip through my lips.<p>

** DEAN PoV **  
>The slender, pale girl swam over, blonde hair flowing over one shoulder, and she tread water close to me.<br>'Well hell-o.' She murmured, eyes trailing my chest.  
>'Gabriel, go with Sam a sec. I'll be there in a min.' I mumbled to him. He nodded, swimming off. I turned back the little shit in front of me, who seemed overjoyed that Gabriel was gone.<br>_I can't hit a girl. I don't hit kids. Do NOT hit a kid. She's just a girl, she's just a girl... _  
>'Can I help you?' I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.<br>'I was just wondering if you fancied a drink.' It was purely a statement - she was obviously expecting me to agree.  
>But nothing I did was ever straightforward.<br>'Well I'm sorry darlin', truly I am,' I drawled. 'But I'm afraid that gorgeous man over there just happens to be my boyfriend. And actually, I think I wanna marry him. So if you don't mind, kindly back the fuck off and leave us alone before I make you.' My voice got a little rough by the end, and it wasn't until after that I realized I'd said I wanted to marry him.  
>Her blue eyes darkened a little, and Gabriel, clearly sensing trouble, was by my side in a second. 'Oh, my apologies. I thought you were with this piece of shit for guilt reasons. Nice scar, by the way,' She added, nodding art Gabriel's chest, then reached forward quickly and grabbed his wrist, running a finger along some fading silvery lines, 'Do this often, do you? Coz these sure are recent.' Gabriel grabbed a hold of the girl's forearm, slowly guiding it back down into the water, then applying pressure until she released him. He pulled her a little closer, and put his face inches from hers. 'Don't. Touch. Them. Nobody. Touches. Them. Be afraid of me, child, because I could hunt you down and kill you in less time than it takes you to dial nine-one-one.'<br>He released her arm, and she moved away quickly. He went to kiss me, and I kissed back, but when I closed my eyes, I just saw those semi-faded, silvery scars.  
>My Gabriel... Was a self-harmer? <p>


	28. Chapter 28

** Poor Gabey baby! D:  
>sorry this is taking so long... My fic part of my brain hit new inspiration. :) wait till I let you know what it's called, hehe. Should be rather entertaining.<br>Ummm... where's he going? **

My heart pounded a little as I felt Dean's anxiety, and... _Disgust_...  
>He frowned a little, then turned away from me.<br>'Hey Sam, I think me and Gabriel are gonna... Go.' He said it with a supposed sexual innuendo, but I, and Sam too, heard the... Something, in his voice. It was unplaceable.  
>'Okay, well, we'll walk back or something... Or Cas'll... Yeah.' Sam smiled a little, but I feel his concern radiating towards us, and especially to me. I reluctantly pressed forward into his head.<br>_I wonder if it was that girl... She clearly had a thing for Dean, and he's good at that, getting the girls. Or what if... Nah, Dean won't have seen... Or would he? That'd be an excuse to leave for sure, Dean would probably be concerned. He looks it, too... Maybe he _has_ seen Gabriel's scars? Damn, I hope not... I mean, there's no saying how he'd react... He could even leave if he- _ He paused for a second, glancing at me. _Gabriel, I can feel you in my head. I'm sorry, I... He might be... I don't know._  
>I frowned a little as our eyes met. <em>Hey, I don't know if you can hear me, if you can't, then wow, I feel like an idiot. But if you can... Do you really think he'd leave me? <em>  
>He frowned a little as Dean began to climb out of the pool. <em>I don't know... <em> He admitted. I nodded a little, then pulled out of his head.

The last thing I saw was that little sour-faced bitch smirking at me.

Dean and I changed in separate cubicles, and although I sat shotgun, there was a heavy silence between us.  
>We entered the house, and Bobby was sat in his study. Dean headed upstairs, shaking his head when I went to follow him.<br>I sighed a little, sitting defeatedly on the sofa. Bobby frowned. 'You idjits had a fight or somethin'?' He asked, sitting reluctantly beside me. I shook my head a little.  
>'Not yet... But I think he's gonna leave me.' I admitted quietly.<br>'Now why would he do somethin' like that? The boy loves yuh, it's plain to see.'  
>I shrugged a little, not ready to admit that I'd had a problem. <em>had<em>, past tense.  
>Maybe Dean just needed a little space?<br>I made a decision in that second. I knew where I would go. If I got hurt going, then so be it. But that was where I had to be right now.

** SAM PoV **  
>Gabriel hadn't even bothered to ask how I knew. I'd known for a while, since that day I'd had to borrow clothes from him. I'd seen the cuts, seen the drying blood on his skin. But I hadn't said anything.<br>If I had, maybe this wouldn't be happening.  
>'Cas, I want to go home...' I murmured. He nodded, clearly understanding I was too upset to explain. He helped me out of the pool, and we gathered our clothes before standing in an cubicle with the door shut, but not bolted. Seeing no reason to get dressed, Castiel pressed his fingers to my forehead, and we appeared in Bobby's front room.<br>'Are you okay?' I asked, darting over to Dean, who was sobbing on the couch. 'Where's Gabriel?'  
>'He... H-he's g-gone t-to...' Dean glanced up at me with watery eyes, and something tugged inside me, something which I knew to be Gabriel's Grace.<br>'Oh fuck.' I whispered. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Woopp. :) check out my BRAND NEW fic, 'Yes, Sir.'! Tehee... If you're a Sam/Cas fan that is... :)  
>Will Gabriel make it back okay?<br>Virtual Cookies for RubinAmigo. You got it right whilst thinking you were wrong... That's a new one! :) **

I paced the celestial halls, running my finger across the walls. They were so unlike human walls, these were carved from angelic matter, shining every color of the spectrum, and many more besides.  
>'Gabriel. You dare to come here, disgraced as you are?' I chuckled a little at the unintended pun. Dis<em>graced<em>. Hehe...  
>I turned away from the beauty of the wall to the ugliness of the great big bag of dicks. His wings were arched proudly, shimmering gold and shining magnificently. I stretched my own pink ones with a grin, then smirked. 'You know what they say, bigger the wings, bigger the-'<br>'Stop fooling around, Gabriel! You know what it means that you came back here since you split your Grace. With not just one, but _two_ beings. The _Winchesters_, too!' Uriel frowned disapprovingly at me. 'And you dare to bring that filth up here?' He inclined his head at the tatted leather slung over my shoulders, and reached out a hand to take it from my body.  
>'Do not. Touch. The jacket.' I growled, suddenly serious. 'I came back to return this, and to say goodbye.' I untucked the small bronze knife from my jeans, handing it over. Uriel frowned, but I tried to vanish anyway.<br>I couldn't.  
>'Oh, you are taking the piss...' I muttered, slinking to the floor. 'Raphael, you douche.'<br>'Why thank you, Gabriel. But I'm afraid you can't leave just yet.' Raphael was stood by the wall in the room I suddenly found myself in, eyeing me curiously. 'You're usually a thief. Why did you bother to return this?' He spun the bronze dagger between his fingers, frowning.  
>'I didn't want anyone else to do what I did. It hurts like a bitch, and pretty fuckin' bad if it seems to go wrong.' My vocal cords tightened a little as Raphael clenched his fist in my direction.<br>'Do not swear, brother.' He murmured.  
>'What do you want with me, Raphael? What's to gain from keeping me here?'<br>He met my eyes, and smirked a little. 'The chosen ones. Do you not remember the tales, Gabriel? The tales of two Hunters, brothers by blood and friendship, loved by angels... They were the vessels, of Michael, and of Lucifer. So if we destroy the vessels, we postpone the Apocalypse. Again.' He added, and I felt my breathing hitch a little.  
>'Dean...'<br>'Is the Michael Sword.' Raphael finished brightly. 'So they get beamed up here by Castiel on a happy little rescue mission... Then we destroy them!'

** SAM PoV**  
>Gabriel was scratching at my mind.<br>_ Sam. Sam. Sam. Samuel. Sam. Listen to me, dammit! Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sssssaaaammmmm! _  
><em> What?<em> I snapped eventually.  
><em> Do<em> not _let Castiel go up to heaven, especially with Dean. Lock their stubborn asses in the panic room if you have to, but if any of you come up, we will all die! _  
>My heart stopped, and Gabriel sighed a little. <em>They just left?<em>  
><em>Yeah.<br>Shit. _


	30. Chapter 30

**SORRY IF MY UPDATES ARE LESS FREQUENT. IM BACK AT SCHOOL! :D  
>Heheh... Read RubinAmigo and WickedLittleLies's Fics. If you know what's good for you... (;<br>I like WickedLittleLies's use of the word 'spunk'. Yey to you, I thought I was the only person who did that... :D  
>Hm... what's Sam gonna do?<strong>

I, _me_, was afraid. The split-second it took for us to teleport or whatever, felt so much longer than usual. Cas held me close as we seemed to fly, my eyes squeezed shut in terror. We stopped, and I opened one eye tentatively.  
>We were stood in a hallway, the light dancing off a wall that seemed, to me, to be extremely well-polished marble, but was probably something ridiculously and needlessly complex.<br>I ran a hand across the wall, watching the stone shimmer with a color i'd never seen before.  
>'Where is he?' I murmured, turning from the wall. The hall was gone, and we were in a room. Gabriel was sat with his hands bound, head hanging and jaw clenched.<br>'You shouldn't have come.' Gabriel glanced up a little, torment radiating in his eyes.  
>'Gabriel...' I darted over, and held him close to me. 'I'm sorry, I freaked. I didn't know how to... Look, I get that you had a problem, but we can talk through it, I don't care what you did in the past...' I kissed his forehead gently, 'Let's get out of here.'<br>'We can't.' He whispered.  
>'Yes we can, I can just...' I began to cut at the knots restraining his hands, but he just sat there, even when I was holding his hand in mine. 'Let's go!'<br>'They trapped us here... When Sam- if they haven't already got him- when Sam gets here, they'll kill us all.'  
>My heart sunk, and my knees crumpled a little. 'Why?'<br>'Because they think you're somebody you're not.' He murmured, shaking his head. 'Doesn't matter... I'll explain if we ever get out of here.' His lips brushed mine as I cradled him to my chest.  
>'If?'<br>'And that's a pretty big 'if'.' He sighed a little, and I kissed his hair.  
>'I hate to interrupt...' Castiel was stood on the opposite side of the room, a long, pointed dagger in his hand. 'But I believe our brother is dead. We can leave.'<p>

** SAM PoV**  
>I stood in the middle of the crossroads, and exhaled heavily.<br>'Crowley... I guess I need your help... Come here, please?'  
>The demon appeared in front of me, smirking. 'You called?'<br>'My brother is in heaven. Along with my lover and Gabriel. I need to get them down, or get myself up.'  
>Crowley cocked his head. 'Did Bobby explain my terms to you?'<br>I nodded a little, glancing away. 'One soul, in ten years, and I'll get your friends back.'  
>I stepped a little closer, and he smiled as I closed my eyes. 'Let's do this.' <p>


	31. Chapter 31

** Hehe... Sorry to make you all wait! Sleep called... I'm writing this bit before I go to school... Should be on by about 5pm my time. Yey to Fanfics!  
>Now who wants a virtual cookie?<br>Will Gabriel tell Dean?**

_ Sam, fucking hell Sam, listen to me you little shit. Don't go through with it! I'm about to get to you, I just... _  
>When there was no reply, I began to panic even more. Closing my eyes, I reluctantly pressed forward into him, feeling his body and mine as one.<br>I opened Sam's eyes to see Crowley's face. Backing away a little, I felt Sam become frantic against my... Well, practically possession.  
><em>Shhh...<em> I soothed internally, _Calm down, it's me, it's Gabriel._ The struggling died down a little, and I made Sam appear in Bobby's study before I quickly pulled out of him.  
>'I told you-' I rasped, then was cut off by him slapping me hard across the face.<p>

** DEAN PoV **  
>Gabriel's eyes had gone blank once he'd explained the reason why Raphael had trapped us, about the stories. A minute or so later, Sam appeared in the middle of the room.<br>'I told you-' He started, then Sam reached forward and with practiced force, slapped Gabriel hard across the face.  
>I caught my lover as he fell toward the floor, glaring at Sam. 'What the hell?' I spat, holding Gabriel close to me, resting a cool hand against his pulsating red cheek.<br>'He fucking possessed me, Dean.' Sam hissed, flinching a little. 'I panicked... Thought Meg was back inside me, and I could feel the invasion in here...' Sam tapped the side of his head, and I glanced at Gabriel. He nodded a little as I pulled him up into my chest.  
>'He was about to sell his soul to get us back.' Gabriel murmured. 'He wouldn't listen... I had to do something.'<br>I kissed Gabriel's hair, wrapping my arms around him. 'It's okay, Gabriel. Sam has a point... But so do you. Just a misunderstanding.'  
>'Yeah.' Gabriel agreed. Sam nodded a little, kissing Castiel's cheek as his angel hugged him.<br>'We need to talk.' I murmured in Gabriel's ear, biting the skin a little. 'I have a few questions.'

Gabriel was lay on me, and I could feel his calm heartbeat where his bare chest rested on mine. His cheek was nuzzled into my neck, and one of my hands were wrapped in his shaggy hair.  
>'So why'd you do it?' I murmured, my spare hand caressing his inner forearm comfortingly.<br>'I was so alone... I ran from heaven during the last war. So many of my brothers are dead, and the rest are hunting me down.' He murmured, suckling at my neck a little.  
>'You have us now.' I whispered, stroking a hand across his bare ass.<br>'I know. I love you, Dean.'  
>'Love you too, schweetheart.' I murmured, then smirked when he groaned as I slid a finger into his stretched ass.<br>'Hmm...' He hummed into my collarbone, then straddled my hips as he tugged at my belt. 'I don't... This is taking too long.' I laughed a little as my jeans vanished and I found myself lay on my chest with Gabriel's teeth nipping at my throat.  
>I hummed a little, reaching back to pull his head down so I could kiss him as he thrust into me. 'F-fuck..' I whimpered, fingers clenching in the bedsheets.<br>'Hmm... Oh?' Gabriel's wide, excited eyes gazed up at me as I flipped us, my hands holding his on my cock as I shifted on him.  
>'Tell me how you like it...' I whispered, bouncing on him a little.<br>'Fucking hard.' He moaned, fingernails scraping my back as I thrust down onto his vigorously, making him cry out. 'I'm gonna come so hard in your pretty ass...' He groaned, stroking me deftly.  
>I hummed, my knees tightening around him as my balls began to draw up. Fire spread through my abdomen, and Gabriel's hips thrust up erratically.<br>'Fuck- Dean!' He howled a little, hands running down my chest as he came.  
>I came on his stomach and chest, coating myself too as I lay across him.<br>'I fucking love you.' I whispered, convulsing a little as he stroked my tender head.  
>'Love you too.' He murmured, petting my head and holding me close.<br>'Gabriel... You killed Azazel?'  
>There was a moment's hesitation, and then- 'Yes. Six years ago.'<br>'Why?'  
>'I can't tell you.'<br>'Why not?' I glanced up at Gabriel. 'This is us starting over. No lies. And no secrets.'  
>Gabriel bit his lip a little, gazing at me with unreadable eyes. <p>


	32. Chapter 32

** My foot hurts ... Sorry, I've been in hospital lol. ^_^  
>Hm... <strong>

My heart began to pound a little, and I swallowed. 'Let's, uh, get more comfortable...' I sat up, pulling Dean with me, and propped up the pillows behind us on the headboard.  
>After he began to rest his head on my shoulder, I sighed as I began to talk. 'No interrupting me... This is a long, hard story that I never wanted to have to tell anyone.' Dean nodded a little, glancing up at me with baleful eyes.<br>'I killed Azazel. Six years ago, on the eighteenth. It's the twelfth.' I added, so he knew the sixth anniversary of the beautiful day was coming. 'Sam was nine. And you were thirteen.' I frowned a little, closing my eyes and wincing as unwanted memories flashed before my lids. 'I killed him because he was after you... He was in your room, stood over you, when I tracked him down... I slaughtered him right there and then. You saw me, I always thought- your little green eyes opened, and for the second or so I stood there I saw fear and confusion in your innocent face.'  
>'And then I left.' I continued staring straight ahead. 'Because you were my thirteen year old soul mate. I couldn't act on our bond, it would've been sick, and twisted. But I could, however, watch over you... All those times you lost things? I found them. The times you had a fever, I brought it down. The times you were left to look after Sammy, I watched over you both, just in case. When I found out that Cas had picked up Sam in the street, payed him for sex...' I winced a little, remembering. 'I hadn't been in months. It was my fault, if I'd been there I wouldn't have even let the thought begin in his mind... But I found myself driving to Cas's and my house with your brother. I slipped once, calling him Samuel Winchester- he didn't notice, though, not till after he got out of the car, and I think he's forgotten about it by now.'<br>Dean nodded a little, jaw tight. 'I never left you, not for too long. I was away killing stuff that wanted to kill you...' I remembered the original question, and shook my head to clear it.  
>'I killed Azazel... Because you and I, even then, we were meant to be together. And anyone who even wanted to poke you with a stick was dead. We've got some sort of bond- literally, not figuratively. Since you were born. I stopped Azazel harming your brother because he mattered to you, and there was something about that innocent, youthful face...' I shook my head slowly. 'I'm done.' I added, because I could tell he was dying to respond.<br>He didn't say anything. He just turned his hips toward me, and kissed me gently. 'All those times...' He whispered eventually. 'When I nearly got hit by a car, slipped on a wet floor, walked down an alley where a rapist was hiding... It was you? That moved me out of the way, that caught me, that made him leave me?'  
>I nodded minutely, kissing his forehead. 'All me.'<br>'I owe you my life...'  
>I shook my head quickly, feeling a little guilty. 'No, I owe you mine. I was on the verge of poking the devil the day you were born.'<br>'Why didn't you want to tell me this, huh?' Dean murmured, as I stroked his hair...  
>'... Because I watched you for your whole life... You don't appreciate people trying to intervene with fate, I picked that up.'<br>'Well yeah, but...' Dean struggled visibly, then shook his head. 'This is different.'  
>'Yeah?'<br>'Yeah. 'coz I love you.' He blushed a little, adorably, and I kissed him gently.  
>'Love you too, babe.'<p>

** SAM PoV **  
>The days passed without event, and when the weekend came, I was snapped out of a lustful, Cas-enduced haze by somebody pulling on my foot, trying to drag me out of bed.<br>'Jesus, Sammy, you fat ass, get out of bed!' I grabbed onto the bedframe, holding the sheets in one hand as Dean tried to pull me from my comfy abode.  
>'Dean, I'm naked under here!' I screeched. He let go of me quickly, grimacing as Cas appeared from under the sheets, grinning sheepishly.<br>'I'm not gonna... Ugh. Erm... I'll wait outside. You've... Ugh.'  
>I swallowed as Dean left the room, and Castiel resumed him ministrations on my cock.<p>

'Well that was fantastically awkward...' I chuckled, pulling on some jeans as Castiel licked the come from his hand.  
>'They're mine.' He informed me absent-mindedly, nodding at the jeans as his tongue curled around those fingers teasingly.<br>'...So? This gives you an excuse to stay in bed. And that looked so much better around my cock.' I winked, shrugging on a old shirt. Of Castiel's.  
>'So you wear all my clothes... And I don't fit in your extra extra smells, so I just stay here?'<br>'Basically.' I chuckled, kissing him slowly before heading toward the bedroom door. 'Love ya.'  
>'Love you too. And it's a good job.' He murmured after me. <p>


	33. Chapter 33

** Hmmm... Cue my chemical romance's 'I'm not okay' beat. And a one, two, three, four! I'm so sorry guys. I had a hectic week. :/  
>Oh yeah. NO QUESTION, A CHALLENGE INSTEAD:-<br>First person to find the meaning of my Greek words gets a virtual cookie.  
>There's two mentioned. :)<strong>

I hunted down Dean, finding him stood by the Impala, the bonnet up, familiar blue cooler by the tyre, two beers in his hands and a slightly shy smile.  
>'It's our time now, Sammy.' He breathed, extending a beer to me. 'Just us... No-one else.' The look in his eyes shot me back to sophomore year, a lesson on relationships and love. There was one word that rang in my head, <em>philía<em>...  
>I took the beer, smiling a little. 'Thanks Dean. So what's on the agenda?'<br>'No nerd language?' Dean chuckled, resting his icy beer on the cooler. 'Clean some spark plugs, bitch.'  
>'Jerk.' I replied, beginning to rub at the only-slightly dimmed metal, as he whistled tunelessly through his teeth, tinkering with something near the engine.<br>When I'd finished, I handed the plugs back to Dean, and he chuckled, taking it. 'Damn clean freak...'  
>I laughed, swigging my beer slowly. 'Want me to start cleaning her?'<br>Dean nodded, wiping his oily fingers on a rag which he proceeded to trow at my face. I scowled, glaring at him. 'Enough of the bitch face, Sammy. C'mon. Get cleaning.'  
>I took a cloth from the water bucket, squeezing it to remove most of the water before beginning to scrub at the mud coating the Impala's wheel trims. 'What've you been doing in this damn thing recently?' I asked, scrubbing furiously to shift the caked-on crud.<br>'Just... Driving. Round Dakota. With Gabriel.'  
>I continued to scrub, listening absent-mindedly as Dean's humming stopped. Glancing up, I saw Gabriel licking at my brother's collarbone gently. I grimaced, then Gabriel pulled away a little.<br>'I'll leave you to it now...' He murmured, backing off. Dean grabbed him by the scruff, pulling him closer and kissing him roughly.  
>'Get me upstairs.' He groaned- and then they vanished.<p>

I sat there for a moment, feeling nothing. Then anger and bitterness began to bubble to the surface. This was supposed to be my time with Dean, nobody else's!  
>I stood up, kicking over the cooler angrily, throwing the spanner resting on the Impala's open bonnet without aim to pent my frustrations, eyes squeezed shut.<br>I missed my brother. This guy, the one with the angelic lover, he wasn't him. He wasn't Dean.  
>My head fell forward a little, and I whimpered quietly as I heard a euphoric gasp issue from the open window.<br>_ Éros_. 


	34. Chapter 34

** Hi. :) sorry... I couldn't get Gabie right in this chapter. /:  
>This is stupendously easy. What's he gonna talk to him about? <strong>

Dean blew me off nineteen times in two weeks. And he didn't even notice.  
>Cas and I were reclining on the sofa, watching some corny movie about Cockney Rhyming Slang, (<strong>AN:Heheh... Lol. RubinAmigo.(:**) when Dean came in.  
>'Sammy... Can I talk to you?' I raised an eyebrow at my brother, who was toying with his shirt hem nervously.<br>'Sure...' My heart began to race a little as I followed him from the room, figuring I'd done something to annoy him, considering his edginess.  
>Dean shut his bedroom door behind me, then paused with a small smile.<br>'I'm gonna ask Gabriel to marry me.' He breathed.

After I hugged him, and he scowled at me for a 'Chick-flick noment', he was beaming and I was crying a little.  
>'When?' I sniffed.<br>'Tonight.' He answered. 'I just wanted to make sure... That you're okay with it...'  
>I scowled and slapped his arm playfully. 'Course I am! Jerk.'<br>'Bitch.' He replied easily. 'Sam... If Gabriel says yes... Will you be my best man?'  
>I squeaked, and felt a goofy grin plaster itself on my face. 'Of course... Who better to do an embarrassing speech than me?'<br>Dean laughed, and my eyes widened as I had an idea. 'I just thought of the best song ever to play when you propose...'  
>'Metallica?'<br>'No!' I glared, and he scowled, murmuring something about Metallica calming him when he was nervous. 'Bruno Mars- I think I wanna marry you!'  
>Dean raised an eyebrow. 'What kind of name is 'Bruno Mars'?'<br>'A good one!' I defended. 'Just... Oh! You should sing it to him!'  
>I saw Dean's wince, and he shook his head roughly. 'No fucking way.'<br>I pulled the puppy-eyes at him, and he groaned.

** DEAN PoV **  
>I paced the room nervously, running through the plan for the evening in my head...<br>But I had Bruno... Mars, stuck in my head...!  
>Freakin' Sam. Bitch.<br>I began to bounce my leg nervously, croaking out a 'Enter!' when someone -Sam- knocked on my door.  
>'You okay?' He rolled his eyes a little as I shot him a helpless look, holding my head in my hands.<br>'I feel sick.' I groaned, falling back on my bed. He laughed, pulling me up and tying my tie for me.  
>'You know he's gonna say yes.' He chuckled.<br>I shrugged, nibbling my lip, humming 'Some kind of Monster'. 'Maybe...'  
>'Yes!' He snapped. 'Now C'mere.' He reached forward, tucking in my shirt.<br>'Get your hands out of my pants!' I snapped, then grimaced as I realized how wrong that sounded. 'I can do it...' I continued to tuck the shirt in, then grinned nervously at Sam. 'How d'I look?'  
>'Great.' He assured me with a smile. 'Bobby, Cas and I are going to hit a movie... Call me when we can come back.'<p>

**SAM PoV**  
>Dean's nervousness was verging on adorable. He was acting like a teen on their first date, all fidgety.<br>Gabriel had caught on that something was up, considering Dean had been darting in and out most of the day, getting things he needed; despite Dean's insistence that everything was fine. Gabriel was sat opposite me, fingering his shirt hem nervously, fingers drumming on his thigh, the usual cocky grin on his face seeming a little forced. He laughed too loud, too long, and even Bobby had noticed the change, but I shook off his questions.  
>Cas had his arm around me, nibbling my collarbone, and a slight moan escaped my lips- which Gabriel, who was now staring vacantly at the wall, didn't even begin to mock me for. 'C'mon...' Cas whispered against my skin. 'Let's go upstairs...'<p>

Feeling like I hadn't spent enough time with my own angel recently, I was more than happy to bottom for him.  
>Cas's tongue was an evil thing, a weapon of torture... I groaned as much when he flicked it across my nipple gently.<br>'And you love it...' He chuckled softly against my skin, smiling as he licked, kissed and nibbled his way down my body.  
>I moaned as his warm, wet mouth engulfed my cock, sucking gently as I held his hair, hips thrusting slightly. He whimpered around me, vibrations traveling down my shaft, which caused me to throw my head back, hold his own still an buck frantically into him, sensing the slight gag and quick recovery as my balls tightened and I groaned, exploding in his throat, whimpering as he swallowed around me, fingers tightening in his hair while my hips bucked weakly.<br>He licked his way back up my body, kissing me fiercely, letting me taste myself on his lips. 'On your hands and knees...' He whispered in my ear, nibbling at my neck gently.  
>I did so obligingly, my long body offering the perfect support when he slid into me, hands on my hips, pelvis cradling mine as he sheathed himself fully.<br>'I'm gonna fuck you so hard...' He hissed in my ear, fingers clenching on the skin of my hips. I groaned as he pulled out slowly, then slammed back in forcefully. Moans tore at my throat as he repeated the motion, pounding into me roughly, feeling my hips and ass start to bruise from the force when he came inside me, his hips bucking erratically, brushing my prostate with every thrust, and I screamed aloud from pleasure, arms giving way underneath me as I came from a few brief strokes.  
>'Fuck... You wildcat.' I panted a little, vaguely aware that my ass was still in the air. I heard him chuckle, and he pushed my hips down.<br>'Oh, I'm not through with you yet...'

**DEAN PoV **  
>Everyone else was gone. The house was empty , Gabriel was suiting up, although he didn't know what for.<br>'We're going out, honey...' I informed him when he returned, smiling a little. He cocked his head curiously.  
>'How come? Not that I don't want to... I'm just curious.'<br>'Well. I need to talk to you... And I have the perfect place to do it.' 


	35. Chapter 35

** This chapter plans to be majorly 'awww' worthy. :)  
>'What can't dean do? <strong>

I tugged gently on the collar of my shirt, breathing ragged as Gabriel finished his meal.  
>'Something's bugging you.' He stated, eyeing me nervously as he sipped his champagne.<br>'How long have we known each other, Gabriel?' I asked quietly.  
>'Almost a year, I think...' He replied. 'Why?'<br>'It feels like... I can't imagine anything else anymore.' And it was true. So many months had flown by in a flurry of hunting and sex, love and happiness, since that day when I found out Sam had been prostituting... I winced internally as I realized I'd never kept a watch on him- he'd been putting money he'd 'earned' aside for the wedding, and Cas didn't know, so...  
>I shook the thought away, turning back to my lover. 'Gabey... I love you. I want to spend the rest of my possibly-eternal life with you.' I slipped to my knee before him, uncut fringe almost touching my eyes. 'Gabriel, will you marry me?'<p>

I was filled with a faceful of blonde hair as Gabriel hurled his shrieking self at me.  
>'Yes! Oh, Dean, yes!' I chuckled happily into the desperate kisses that coated my face, and he drew away a little, face flushed with excitement, eyes shining.<br>I slid the ring onto his finger, both our hands shaking with anxiousness. Some woman at the table to the left of us stood up and announced our engagement to the entire restaurant. They erupted in applause, but I was already stood with my arms around my _fiancé_, smiling happily into the kiss he'd planted on me.  
>Gabriel was fidgeting nervously all the way home, fingers dancing in his lap. 'Dean... I can't believe you proposed to me... I didn't have you down as the marrying type.' He breathed, still all doe-eyed and beaming.<br>'Yeah, well.' I laughed, wrapping his fingers in mine. 'We have cream in the fridge. And pie. We should... 'celebrate'.'  
>Gabriel chuckled, squeezing my fingers. 'That we should... And we need chocolate.'<p>

Twenty minutes later found me handcuffed to the bed, chocolate-drizzled from my neck to my thighs, and cream... Everywhere. Sure, the sheets were a mess... But the fact that we'd eaten the pie first had already made that clear.  
>Right now, Gabriel was clipping a cockring around me, and licking chocolatey-cream off my hip.<br>The licking, I had no problem with _at all_.  
>The ring... That was a different story.<br>I groaned into the cloth Gabriel had gagged me with as he swiped his tongue over my ribs, swirling circles around my nipple teasingly.  
>I whimpered into the gag- a sound which I instantly decided I would deny later; little did I know Gabriel would provoke worse- as he sucked my nipple teasingly, and I pressed my face into my bicep, whimpering again.<br>He licked his way across my chest, and down to my neck, nibbling the skin gently; and, from what I could see, leaving a trail of small marks all the way up my body- which, knowing Gabriel, would last for a hell of a while.  
>He sucked at my neck, and I could practically <em>feel<em> the lovebite forming. He licked his way over my chest, lapping the cream out of my navel before continuing down to my thighs, licking the chocolate off my balls and sucking them into his mouth. I groaned loudly, glad that the sound was muffled by the gag, because I could hear the front door unlock. That didn't put Gabriel off, though. He continued sucking viciously, making me cry out into the cloth as my achingly hard cock strained to come, met by the cockring restraining me.  
>I whimpered again as Gabriel flicked his tongue over my head, pushing gently into the slit to retrieve the last little bit of cream- or rather... I think it was cream...<br>He smiled, flinging one leg over my hips to straddle me. 'I want you to fuck me... Then I'll let you come.' He reached forward to remove the gag, and I let out a stuttering groan as he slid on to me slowly. He shifted, sliding up a little before sinking back down, the position taking me deeper inside him than I'd ever been before.  
>I whimpered pitifully as Gabriel started up a rapid pace on my painfully hard cock, vaguely aware of the bed's creaking and the house full of people.<br>He leaned forward, breathing raggedly into my ear as my hips snapped upward. 'Scream for me... Tell me you're mine, you're my little slut...'  
>I groaned through gritted teeth as he slid off me, straddling my chest. 'N-no.' I stammered disobediently.<br>He raised a cocky eyebrow, running a hand through my hair, pulling my mouth open and thrusting in hard.  
>'Uh...' He groaned, throwing his head back as I licked my way along the base slowly, teasing his head. Fingers tightened in my hair as his hips bucked forward, thrusting him to the back of my throat, to explode in my mouth.<br>He drew out, trembling a little, to slide deft fingers along my length. 'Do it...'  
>'No.'<br>He fingers stroked harder, and I could practically _feel_ myself straining. 'Do it.'  
>'N-no.'<br>His other hand went down, rubbing circles on my balls as he jerked me. 'Do it!'  
>In that instant, it really was too much. Falling into the unusual position of obedience, I opened my mouth wide, and screamed as his fingers tortured me. 'I'm your-ah!-yours! Y-you're little s-fuck!-slut!'<br>He unclipped the ring in one fluid motion, stroked me one last time, and I exploded on my chest and his back, body spasming with pleasure.

I chuckled dryly as Sam leapt at me, shrieking. 'Yay! I'm so happy for you!'  
>I patted my little brother's shoulder, smiling over at Gabriel and Cas, who was being hugged by the other fiercely.<br>'So what about it, Sammy?' I whispered. 'Got any ideas for the best man speech?'

A few days passed. We set a date next month, rented out the church and everything...  
>I was driving around a few local states, delivering invites.<br>I ran through thoughts nervously in my head, groaning when none of them seemed right.  
>'I can't do it...' I admitted quietly to Sam. 'I'm sorry Sammy, but I can't!' <p>


	36. Chapter 36

** hmm... YEP, SHE HAD TO BE IN IT! Remember, Deans only.. -What? Twenty-two? - here. Ergo, 'everyone else' is about FIVE years younger than... Season five?  
>Sorry, i don't wanna give anything away! Hehe.<br>What's her reaction gonna be? **

I sat outside Lisa's house, and dialed Sam's number. 'I'm here. And I still can't do this.'  
>'<em>Yeah, you can! You know you want Ben there.'<em>  
>I sighed. 'I know, but-'<br>_'No buts! Get in there.'_ He hung up on me, and I scowled, throwing the phone onto the backseat.  
>'Freakin' bitch...'<p>

I knocked on the door, and it opened a moment later.  
>'Dean!'<br>'Hey, Lisa.' I replied, smiling. She smiled, letting a stunned gasp through her lips as she held open the door.  
>'Dean... Come in!' I stepped into the house, shrugging off my jacket, which she took from me. 'Ben's asleep...'<br>'Actually, Lisa, I wanted to talk to you.' She cocked her head a little, and led the way into the kitchen. A year ago, I would've followed with an arrogant smile, eyes fixated on those short shorts that barely contained her cute little ass. But now my mind was miles away, back in the warm house, the warm bed where I'd left my fiancé.  
>'Coffee?'<br>'A beer sounds great.' I replied, scrubbing a hand over my face. She handed the bottle to me, concern flicked in her gaze.  
>'Dean... What's up? It's not Sam?' I shook my head quickly, and lifted my gaze from the floor. Lisa was leant against the counter, low-cut top and shorts slightly rumpled, brown-black hair over one shoulder...<br>It wasn't hard to see why I'd dated her for as long as I did.  
>I loved coming to see her and her son, but it was hard- Ben was only five, he didn't understand when I had to keep leaving. Neither did Lisa, really.<br>If I'd had the chance to have Lisa and Ben, with Sam... If someone had offered me that a year ago, I'd have jumped at the chance.  
>I tore my jade eyes away from her chocolate ones, wincing a little. 'I... Can we sit down... Or should I come back tomorrow or something...?'<br>She clearly noticed I was agitated, and shook her head, rubbing my arm. 'What's up, Dean?'  
>I let her lead me to the sofa, sitting down heavily. 'I... I'm...'<br>'What is it, Dean? C'mon, you know you can trust me.'  
>Her hand was resting on mine on my knee, and I sighed a little. 'I'm... Engaged...'<br>Her mouth moved silently, and she slid to her knees in front of me. 'You? Engaged? Didn't really see you as the marrying type... What's her name?'  
>'Gabe.' She nodded, smiling, clearly not clicking that Gabe was short for Gabriel.<br>'And you came to tell me?'  
>'I want you there... You and Ben.'<br>She smiled, kissing my cheek. 'I- we- would love that. Where is she?'  
>'In my bed...' I still neglected to mention that 'she' was a 'he', figuring that even if I didn't tell her... She'd find out at the wedding...<br>Lisa raised an eyebrow. 'I shouldn't be surprised by that.'  
>I shook my head, laughing. 'Probably not... But Gabe brings out my submissive side so we-'<br>'Whoa! Oversharing!' She shook her head, laughing. 'When can I meet her?'  
>'How about tomorrow?'<br>'Great! Does she get on with kids, 'coz if not, Ben can stay at a friend's for a while...'  
>I bit my lip, realizing now was the best time. 'He... Is excellent with kids.'<br>She nodded, smiling... Then stared at me wordlessly. 'H... He?' 


	37. Chapter 37

** Hey! So. LisaTime! Sorry about the shortness... The cliffy was too good to resist.  
>The question's obvious.. How does she know? <strong>

I was a little scared by the sudden quiet, shaky anger that Lisa was radiating.  
>'You... Came... Here... To tell me that you're engaged...' Her hands clenched on her lap, and she glared at me. 'Which hurt enough, I'll have you know. Then I find out... That you don't love me... For a <em>man<em>?'  
>I shook my head, standing. I hadn't come to argue or cower from her insults, but I would not sit and listen to her if she was this worked up. 'Listen, Lisa...'<br>'No, you listen! Gabe, short for Gabriel, I'm guessing- what kind of man is he? Is he tall, short? Fat, thin? Does he complete you, or does he drive you crazy? Is he loud or quiet?' She glared at me through tearful eyes, and I winced as she spoke again. 'What makes him better than me?'  
>I shook my head, polishing off my beer. 'I'm not gonna argue, Lisa. I just wanted you there, but if you can't handle it, it's fine.'<br>Her glare became deathly. 'Of course I can handle it...' She muttered, scowling. 'Though I'm not happy about it. I don't get what makes him so special.'  
>I smiled slightly, and glanced away shyly. 'You will when you meet him... He's the most perfect guy in the world.'<br>Lisa chuckled a little. 'Wow, you really do love him, huh?'  
>'More than anything...' I answered, nodding.<br>She smiled. 'In which case... I'm happy for you. Congratulations, Dean.' I glanced up, and although pain and humiliation were still clear in her eyes, she was putting on a joyed facade, just for my benefit.  
>I smiled weakly, and pulled her into my arms. 'I'm sorry... I wanted us to work, I really did. But... I've never felt this way before, about anyone. He...' I shook my head, unable to explain just what feelings Gabriel evoked in me.<br>She nodded, glancing up at me. 'I still want to meet him.'  
>'You still can... Sam would like to see you, I can bring them all over tomorrow, if you like?'<br>'Them all?'  
>'Yeah, um... Sam has a boyfriend...'<br>'Sam's gay too?' She chuckled dryly, shaking her head. 'Winchesters...'  
>'Um, maybe I should tell you now... Sam's boyfriend, Castiel, he's... A little bit older... Than... me?'<br>Lisa's jaw dropped, and she scowled. 'And you allow it?'  
>'You haven't met the guy, he's... Good for Sam.' I winced, even contemplating Cas and Sam's relationship.<br>Lisa nodded. 'So long as he's happy... He had a rough time last year, didn't he?'  
>I nodded, sighing, then froze. 'How d'you know about Sam's year?' <p>


	38. Chapter 38

** SORRY. I THOUGHT I UPLOADED THIS HOURS AGO. :/ For the person who asked for more Sastiel. :)  
>what's he gonna do?<strong>

Dean watched Lisa carefully as she toyed with her hair, biting her lip anxiously.  
>'I...' She trailed off, mumbling, and Dean growled, grabbing her arm.<br>'You what?' He snapped.  
>'I watched him, okay? Castiel asked me to, said he'd pay me to watch Sam and make sure he didn't get killed... But not to intervene unless it was completely, life-threateningly important...'<br>Dean growled, taking a menacing step forward. 'You... Never thought to tell me that my brother was selling his body to assholes?' He spat, death-glaring her.  
>'Castiel wouldn't let me...' She whispered. 'I wanted to, I did, but I couldn't, he wouldn't let me, he said he was going to stop it soon... And he did. He picked Sam up, and... Well. I figure you know the rest...'<br>Dean glared at Lisa. 'How long were you watching him for?'  
>'About a week, or so. Before Castiel realized he could claim his mate.'<br>'They're not dogs.' He growled, the tense slope of his shoulders dropping a little, and he smiled weakly, figuring a subject change was best and he'd kill Cas when he got home. 'So... Why don't you tell me how you and Ben have been doing?'

** SAM PoV **  
>If I'd known right then what Dean was stating, about us <em>not<em> I'd have laughed hysterically. As it were, I was knelt with my hands tied to the headboard, chest and knees on the sheets and cheek pressed into the bed as I watched Castiel's movements anxiously, whining pitifully.  
>He'd been shopping. In the fun 'let's buy a sailor outfit' shop.<p>

Cas crouched by my ass, kissing his way up my thighs slowly as I trembled, licking my balls as my legs spread automatically, making him laugh.  
>I groaned, hips thrusting back desperately. He'd been torturing me for so long... He licked his way along my cock slowly, teasingly.<br>'Cas...' I hissed. 'Pl-please, just f-fuck me...'  
>'Tell me how you want it... Hard? Fast? Deep?'<br>I groaned, hips shifting tensely. 'Y-yes.. A-all of th-that...'  
>He rocked forward, pushing into me quickly, grasping my hips hard enough to bruise. 'S-So tight for me... S-so hot...' He growled a little as his hips thrust fiercely, making me wince and moan, knowing I wouldn't sit straight for a week.<br>'J-Just f-for y-you...' I ground out, hips pushing back, shuddering when he hit my prostate. 'Ah! H-harder, C-Cas...'  
>My angel obliged willingly, whimpering when my ass tightened around him, stroking a wingtip over my ribs, making me shiver. 'I'm g-g-go-g-Gah!'<br>He laughed, kissing me between the shoulderblades as he wrapped his hand around my straining cock, flicking a thumb gently over my weeping head, making me explode instantly on his hand and the scratchy motel sheets, body shaking as he came in my ass, licking my spine.  
>'Did you like that, baby?' He rasped in my ear, nibbling my throat. I just whimpered as he untied me, pulling me into his arms, and he licked the come from his hand slowly, teasingly. I nodded, watching his tongue twist around his fingers the way it had in my ass not one hour ago. Kissing him gently, I yelped when what felt like a torrent of balls -as in, spheres, not...- landed on my head.<br>'Really?' Castiel laughed, glancing up at his brother. 'Really?'  
>'You said you wanted some of my chocolate! Maltesers rock! And I figured I'd wait till <em>after<em> you stopped screwing the baby Winchester before throwing them at you. And covered up.' He added, shooting a wry glance at the sheets over us, and the come crusting them, making me blush.  
>'Do you feel no shame?' I asked, genuinely curious. He shook his head instantly.<br>'Never.' He answered, grinning.  
>'Wait till you get married. I'm speaking. And then, Gabriel, you will be embarrassed enough for your lifetime. Because I know <em>everything<em> about you, Brother.' Cas smirked, and Gabriel scowled.  
>'You wouldn't.'<br>'Oh ye-'

The door slammed open, and Dean stood there, breathing heavily, glaring at Castiel. 'You. Knew.' 


	39. I FINALLY AM UPDATING! :D

Anger and uncertainty radiated from my lover, a faint echo resonating in my chest. Sam was wide-eyed and confused, while Cas just looked mortified.  
>"You knew what he was doing for <em>weeks<em> before you decided to help him! So what, my abused little brother wasn't broken enough when you first saw him, thought you'd wait awhile?" Dean was quivering with letal furiousness, eyes focused and dark on my brother. "You're a fucking douchebag, you know that? I spent the last few hours trying to convice the mother of my potential son that you two are good guys... Though I guess she already thought you were, eh, Castiel? Considering the way kindness just _radiates_ from the way you asked her to stalk my baby brother!"  
>"Cas... what's he talking about?" Sam Winchester isn't stupid, so I reasoned by the look on his face that he was in very severe shock. I went to place my hand on Dean's shoulder, but he glared at me with such venom that my arm fell back to my side of it's own accord as I winced.<br>"Dean... I hate myself for not intervening before I did. But I was neive. I believed falling from heaven to save Sam would be worse than losing him... but now I know what it's like to have him..." Cas's eyes were low with guilt and hurt, and I knew, I remembered how he'd pained over his decision, regretted not intervening sooner. But I also knew how much it had hurt him to leave heaven, betray his brothers and love a human.  
>I sympathised... But I understood why Dean couldn't.<br>"Cas... I'm taking Sam, and we're going back on the road. _Alone_. I don't want you around him anymore. If I see you again, I won't hesitate to kill you." That said, my fuming lover turned on his heel, leaving Sam staring after him with blatant disbelief.

**DEAN POV**

I didn't understand? Damn right I didn't understand! But that's all Gabriel kept telling me as I packed, over and over like when my Mettalica tape got stuck. A broken record.  
>"Gabriel, can't you just <em>shut up <em>for two Goddamn minutes?" I snapped, glaring in his direction. He flinched away, lowering his head.  
>"I just... I don't want you to leave me."<br>"Well, you're a big boy, Gabe. Gotta learn to stand on your own two feet for once." I ignored his pained expression with difficulty, absently tossing my few spare t-shirts intoa bag.  
>But when I was done, there was no way to avoid those large, betrayed, shining green eyes that were focused on me, seemingly trying to absord every detail before I went.<br>After a moment's hesitation, I took him in my arms with a sigh. "I'm sorry, baby. I love you, truly I do. But I can't even... I can't even look at him, not after what he did." I released a ragged sigh, removing my necklace over my head and placing it tenderly around his neck. "You look after this for me, okay Baby? Sam got me this when we were kids... I want you to have it." I kissed him to silence the objections that had already began to fall from his lips, but he nipped my tongue, making me pull back.  
>"I can't." He breathed. I shook my head silently as he tried to give it back, pulling him into a tight, final hug. pressing my lips to his forehead.<br>"I love you, baby. For ever."

**SAM POV**

No way was he doing this to me, to us.  
>But he was. He was dragging me out of the house, my sight blinded by tears. I could hear Cas crying, and I begged Dean to stop this madness, but he didn't listen.<p>

I was bundled into the backseat of the Impala; not the front, not my usual shotgun seat, but I was too distressed to care.  
>There was no music, and without the roaring Metallica din the car seemed eerily silent.<br>Except for Dean's quiet swearing and sobs, and my pleads to go back, to go _home_.

He didn't listen. He just kept driving me. Driving me away from my Cas.


	40. Chapter 40

**DEAN POV**

Days passed.  
>Sluggish, wearisome lifeless days.<br>Those days stumbled into weeks, them months, then later, a year.  
>A quiet, angst-filled year.<br>Three-hundred and sixty-four nights of hearing my baby brother cry and pray for an angel that couldn't come- I'd scrawled enochian sigils everywhere.  
>I never regretted my dicision to take Sammy away from all that, not once.<br>I never let him hear how I cried every night, either. Not once.  
>I knew when it had been a year. I woke up in the morning with the same sick feeling as every other day, only intensified. September 21st. I didn't have to look at the calender. I knew.<br>It was early. Dawn light was barely beginning to break through a slit in the curtains.  
>I glanced briefly at the clock - 5am. Five a-fucking-m.<br>I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a decent sleep. It'd been too long.  
>I sat up silently, but Sam's bed was made. Glancing around, I spotted him crouched on the floor, leaning on the low table, sniffling quietly to himself, and writing something.<br>"Sammy?" I murmured, voice roughened from lack of use. We didn't talk much anymore, and I knew he dispised me. It'd been almost three weeks since I heard him speak.  
>Sammy lept up, eyes red and puffy from a night spent crying, gaze fixed on the floor, fist curled tightly around the scrap of paper.<br>"Whatcha got there, Sammy?" I asked nervously, sliding out of bed and moving closer to him. He didn't move, so I gently slid the paper from his hand, and my heart stopped as I began to read.

_Dean,  
>By now I'l be gone, and you'll be worried, like you always are.<br>But I have to be with him. There's only one way I can dothat without you stopping me.  
>You did your best for me, Dean. My only regret is that it just wasn't enough.<br>Don't bother looking for my body. It'll be somewhere remote, somewhere peaceful. Somewhere close to heaven.  
>I love you, Jerk.<br>Sam. _


	41. Chapter 41

** sorry that chapter was so short.. my typing was being fucky. again **

"You were...going to kill yourself?" I murmured, balling the paper up in my fist. "Because of Cas?"  
>"I'm sorry, Dean." He breathed, unable to meet my eyes. "I-I can't... can't live like this. It's been a year... Can't we just go back? Everything will be fine again. I know you miss Gabriel. You cry in the dark when you think I'm asleep, when you think I can't see. But I'm not, and I can."<br>"You really miss him that much?" I murmured. He nodded silently, tears welling up in his eyes.  
>"He saved me, and I love him... I can't be without him."<br>I wrapped my arms around my brother - who'd lost so much weight over the past year, I could feel his vertebrae, making me feel like a douche for not taking care of him properly. "Sam... If... If you need him so bad... I'll take you back."  
>His head snapped up, eyes wide and hopeful. "Tell me I'm not dreaming. I have this dream so often..."<br>I flinched, feeling guilty. "You're not dreaming, Sammy. D'you remember where his house was?" Sam nod instantly, face alight. I'd almost forgotten what it looked like to see him happy.

** SAM POV **  
>I couldn't control my racing heart, no matter how hard I tried.<br>Almost there. Almost there...  
>The deep sensation of loss had been tearing me apart for a year. A whole Goddamn year. I spent my sixteenth birthday killing werewolves with cold, calculating precision. I don't think Dean recognized me anymore as the monster I'd become. Hell, when I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself.<br>Almost there...  
>My knee bounced with excited, nervous energy. I couldn't settle, not now. I was almost home...<br>I swear, my thrumming heart stopped when we turned onto the road.

** GABRIEL POV **  
>I knew Castiel felt shamed, even disgusted with himself. He no longer remembers why he hesitated to intervene, so he hates himself just as much as Dean seemed to. I didn't bother getting up when I heard a car stop outside the house- I'd stopped that a few months back, when I realized they really were gone.<br>Still I didn't move when I heard footsteps getting closer. Neighbours, postmen... I'd stopped getting up for footsteps a few weeks ago, when I realized it wouldn't be the only person I wanted it to be.  
>I froze when I heard the voices, however.<br>I couldn't breathe properly. At first I'd thought I was hearding things... But no. Two voices, out on the porch, murmuring softly. I couldn't hear the words, but I could hear the voices. I could hear Dean.  
>I'd flung the door open before I could register my movement.<br>There they were. There _he_ was. My love. My Dean. Looking exitedly anxious as he took me in his arms and gave me the tender, loving kiss I'd waited a year for.  
>I didn't see Sam run past me; if I did, I would've done something.<p>

**SAM POV**  
>I bolted up the stairs, takingthem three at a time, feet barely touching the floor.<br>His door was open, and my breathing hitched uncertainly as I hesitated,taking a deep, steadying breath before stepping in.

He looked terrible. He was lay in much the same position as the second time I came- on his back, staring vacantly at the ceiling. But now his face was gaunt, skin sallow, and a uneven, unshaven stubble curling on his cheeks.  
>His haunted eyes sighted upon me, and he groaned brokenly. "Leave me, Spectre. Leave me be."<br>"Cas... It's me. I'm here. I'm back." I saw a shadow of uncertain hope flash in his darkened eyes, and he stood.  
>"Sammy..."<p> 


	42. Chapter 42

** A/N: Sooo... This is the last chapter! :D I'm glad you've all enjoyed it as much as I have. Anyone up for a sequel for the Dean/Gabriel wedding? :)**

**SAM POV **  
>Cas stood there, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet, before moving slowly closer, his eyes wide. "Sammy..." He whispered again, tears shining in his crystalline blue gaze as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Sammy, my Sammy..."<br>"Always yours." I breathed, tipping my head up, questing, through his joyous tears, for the blissful oblivion of his mouth.

I'd been waiting for so long... Waiting, longing, dreaming of a day when he'd kiss me again, like he did that first time- so soft, so.. So perfect...  
>Our lips touched and my tears fell faster, my fingers mapping the delicate edges of his hips, remembering, retraining myself to every inch of his skin.<br>"Mine... My perfect, perfect, perfect..." I knew I was mumbling random nothingness into his mouth, but I didn't care, because he pulled my hips closer and wrapped his fingers tighter in my hair.  
>"Yours... Only yours..."<br>I couldn't kiss him anymore- the desperation to hold him was just too much. I wrapped my arms tight around him, burying my face in his neck to better inhale his sweet, much-missed scent.  
>He pushed me down gently onto the bed, peppering his kisses all over my face. "Baby... You look like Hell..."<br>I laughed softly, tousling his hair. "You look like Hell too, baby..."  
>"We'll fix each other."<br>"I don't doubt it." His hands moved over the rough, sharp angles of my face.  
>He pulled himself closer to me, nuzzling my face, and I knew, in that instant, that he'd never leave me again.<p>

** DEAN POV **  
>I barely noticed when Sam darted off- Gabriel's eyes were fixed on mine, and everything else just fell away.<br>The door was slammed as I was pushed back against it, whimpering tightly as Gabriel covered my throat with hot, needy, open-mouthed kisses. My hands fisted his hair, pulling his head up, tongues brushing.  
>"I missed you..." I moaned. He was hard, sexy, and writhing against my body.<br>"My room..." He stammered, bucking needily against me. I nodded, taking his hand, letting him pull me up the stairs.  
>I'd never been in his room... But the bit of it I saw in between rapturous kisses, was pink. Lots of pink.<br>Laughing gently, I let him pull my clothes from my body, trailing his tongue and teeth over every available inch of my skin. I was pushed to the mattress, his long, pink wings flicking over my thighs as he spread them, laying between my legs, cock pressing against my hole pointedly.  
>"F-Fuck me...!" I released a stuttering moan, biting his lip hard as he pushed his way in. A year without sex, without even being <em>touched<em> by anything except evil bitches that tried to kill me. I was tight. And he was so big...  
>I moaned eratically as he pounded into me, his fingers hard on my aching member, jerking me in time with his thrusts.<br>We came simultaneously, and it was beautiful.

I held my spent, sweat-damp angel in my arms two hours later, comfortable on the sofa. Sam and Cas were kissing and murmuring softly, beaming. My eyes were on them, and it made me smile. I knew that it had been wrong to go. Cas loved him, and he'd done what he thought was best at the time.  
>Gabriel had his hand resting softly on my thigh, and we were watching the news.<br>It was perfect. Peaceful.  
>It was our life now. <p>


	43. Chapter 43

** HEY! Five reviews. If I get five reviews saying that you want a sequel... I shall sequel-write! :) Any suggestions for fics/sequels would be welcomed! Thank you for reading this fic... I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :3 **


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